Can we deepen our relationships by changing our perspectives?

in relationships •  6 years ago 


Do you know this metaphor about the glass, that is either half full... or half empty...?

Some would say: The optimist is the one that sees the glass half full. The pessimist is the one that sees the glass half empty.

And basically: There are different ways to look at the same thing.

What if the the same applies to the human beings we meet in life?

And I thought...

We can habitually focus on the ugly, the flaws and mistakes in people, or the beautiful, goodness and strengths.

Two ways of looking at a human being and if we want it or not: One way makes us feel good, safe, open, loving. The other way makes us feel closed, anxious, stiff and superficial.

What if it's often not us who create "social problems" - but simply the conditioning of our minds over the years?

And what if everything that can be conditioned, can also be re-conditioned?

The good news: Unlike the water in the glass, our way of perceiving people has the potential for great positive effects in others.

The common sense-science: Someone that feels loved, accepted and respected is more likely to open up, perform, create and put aside fear and insecurities.

I believe this is not only helpful with coworkers, strangers and neighbors, but a doorstep for deep, loving and intimate relationships.


This post is originally published on my blog: samryter.com/blog.
I, Sam Ryter (@sams-world) am the author and creator of this piece of content.
Image source: Wikimedia


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Over the course of our life, we lost the opportunity to know so many great people just because of the way we cultivated our outlook on this world. The saddest part is that it's not our fault entirely. However, it is also true that breaking free from it lies in our hands provided we can accept change without feeling the fear of breaking down.

A good point highlighted, there.

so true. I'm finding myself judging ALL THE TIME...😯 without wanting to admit that my judgements might be simply my own insecurities that I'm projecting. and i agree, to face those insecurities is not always the simplest part... thanks for your points @grimfangs. So good to talk again! hope you're doing well!!

Sam

Well, to be honest, we all do judge. It's just human nature. We all want to associate with people with qualities that we desire and steer clear of those with qualities which we do not desire.

I don't know when it became a bad thing to do, but yes, social conditioning does play a mjor role in them. And also, you are correct. It is quite possible that when we judge someone we're merely projecting our own insecurities on them. I've found that trust and clear communication are valid tools to dispell them. But facing those insecurities is a big challenge.

It felt good to talk to you after a long time as well. I hope that you are doing well with your writing and your life. I look for an opportunity to talk to you soon again. Otherwise, we have Steem chat for all other purposes.

Good luck!

Hey @grimfangs. Oh it hit me when I read your first lines. Even judging "judgement" as a bad thing... is such a subtle blackspot i wasn't even aware of...

Yes, I'm doing really well, thank you. I have very limited internet here. 2gb a month, and I have to be very careful at the moment how I spend the data. gives me a lot of space for other things though...

I'm finishing off my first novel at the moment, it's something completely new and exciting for me.

Will keep in touch. and wow I was happy to see that you're still here :))

Talk to you soon!!