A Single Seed: Assuming the Best

A concept that can be hard to wrap our heads around is the fact that we have no idea what's really going on in anyone's life but our own (and even that's debatable sometimes). And not only what's going on in their lives, but what's happened in the past. Everyone has trauma, guilt, insecurities, and secrets that hide below what the eye can see. Without these, as tough as they are to handle, it would undoubtedly make us less human. The complex emotions we feel on visceral levels are unique to our species, and without them, life really wouldn't be the same. I would much rather choose a life filled with towering highs and crippling lows than a life of numbness; coasting through our years without the chemical reactions that spurn these emotions would be rather dull.

This is why I've been working hard lately to assume the best in people. It can be far too easy to get upset at the driver who cuts us off, the restaurant worker who mixes up an order, or simply a robotic cashier who utters the same greeting to us as the person before us. The social/rational being in us wants to get upset; why didn't they see my car? How could they mix my order up? This undoubtedly leads to some amount of anger or irritation, which in turn raises cortisol levels, meaning another person's actions have now physiologically affected your life. These used to be my knee-jerk reactions, but now I try and weigh other factors that could have caused the action. Maybe they're driving like a maniac because their wife is in labor in the passenger seat. Maybe the server at the restaurant has a sick kid at home but can't afford to take another day off. Maybe the cashier didn't get much sleep due to staying up all night studying.

Or maybe they're just always like that.

Either way, assuming the best has relieved me of a ton of unnecessary stress. Reframing my irritation and imagining the myriad causes for someone's actions that I know nothing about has made a huge difference in my personal interactions, whether it be with a close friend or someone who I may never see again. Imagine all of the things people don't know about your life. Then imagine how much you don't know about theirs. Chances are, they're not out to get you. They're probably just human.

"A Single Seed" is my attempt to get out one idea every day that I've learned or accumulated over the years, with the hope that it may stick in someone else's memory bank as well. The idea may be related to fitness, business, life, or philosophy, but I think you'll find that many can change domains if you wish them to. With each seed planted, a new life awaits.

Image credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/ocarchives/12443106493