An open letter to God

Dear God,
We have a lot to discuss today .
I may not not have done well after all.
I may have forgotten you,but
How are you doing today?
I know I've been so engrossed with the frivolous things of life that I sort of lost contact with you, pardon my impertinence..
How's heaven and the angels? Can you imagine that the angel you told to protect me, allowed me dash my foot against a stone yesterday? Kindly change him Lord, I know angel Michael would be too busy fighting your battles but I'd make do with Gabriel.. I heard father Abraham has been promoted to your chief of staff, is Moses totally fine with it?
I hope David and Solomon, the naughty best friends have been coordinating themselves very well in the heavenly women's ministry, probably leading the women fellowship or something ...
Lord, I know it must be difficult being God sometimes, I wonder how you do it...
How you create and give life.. A different face to each one coupled with varying destinies must be one herculean task giving the fact that lives are being birthed everyday..
You uphold and protect each and everyone through the good and bad constantly and painstakingly preserve lives from the wiles of the devil ..

How do you forgive so easily Lord? Are there some sins that you have to think thoroughly through? Or things that we mortals too that make you yell 'Oh God! He has done it again' then you'd pause to realize you just screamed your own name ..
You Probably call a meeting involving heaven's elite like Elijah, Elisha, Jeremiah and the other prophets with Paul, Peter and the other apostles to discuss and critically analyse these sins before forgiving.. Like those boys who have proposed in their minds to be tagged 'bad boys' with sagged trousers when they know that you're a God rich in goodness or those that derive joy in breaking hearts after proposing fake marriages or those pushing 30 without a strand of beard on their chin or those that would rather party on a Sunday morning or chatting on Facebook than be in your presence...

How about those that have completely forsaken you for their addiction to Facebook or those that reply with silly monosyllables when we say hello and block our asses afterwards .. Those who believe that irrespective of what they do on earth, they'd make heaven, your own heaven oo and those that promised us change and have turned their backs on us: do you sometimes feel the urge to whip them with one or two heavenly kobokos? Or just one heavenly slap at the back of their heads?

How are you here and there at the same time? How are you all knowing and all powerful ? How's your grace sufficient for over 7 billion across the globe? How are you so compassionate and faithful even in our unfaithfulness?
Well, I just want you to know that you're doing an awesome job being God...

Finally , I want to take this time to thank you for My blessings and I'm sorry if I've been ungrateful prior to now...
I wanna thank you for the fact that I have a good place to sleep, my tiny bed in my one room apartment despite the persistent evasion of mosquitoes... For the food on my table even if it's the occasional garri, thank you for the sugar you always provided ... Thank you for my clothes and shoes , doesn't matter how old and worn out they are .. Thank you for my fine family and my seemingly messed up life that I know you're re-building.. oh! And thank you Lord for inventors of food and eye-glasses for i do not know what i'd have done without them... Thank you so much for your Blessings...
The world do not understand, they say I have nothing , that I am nothing because they do not see the power of your great hands upon my life but dear Lord, I have you and that's more than enough for me..

Help me tell Job that he's still my favourite bible character and on earth, he's been tagged 'hope for the hopeless'
Oh dear lord thank you for being God.