So You Want To Own A Restaurant - Letter To An Unhappy Customer

Dear Unhappy And Possibly Most Important Customer In The World Who Didn't Get Her Yellow Curry With Chicken and White Rice and Did I Mention Is Definitely the Most Important Person In The World Or At Least She Thinks So,

Thanks so much for your feedback on a popular review website that has a name that rhymes with "RELP"!
I'm hopeful you are feeling better knowing you've done your civic duty to help other customers make a decision about whether or not to eat at our restaurant.

By reading your review, customers will know that you waited 40 minutes and didn't get your food and that you had to ask for a refund and that the customer service was awful and that it sucks even more because you have been a great customer.
Unfortunately, your review seems to be lacking some relevant facts of which you you and I both know you were made aware prior to your angry departure. I will list them here for you so that you might have them at the ready in case you'd like to re-word your review or perhaps engage in a spirited debate with me on the topic:

1. You waited 31 minutes. It's still too long but it's not 40 minutes.
   As an aside, I sometimes wonder if there is a government-funded study available to researchers who are interested in the phenomena of customers who exaggerate claims while in the process of complaining. You could be part of that study. They might even compensate you - say the price of a Yellow Curry Chicken?

2. You were informed as soon as we knew that your order had been unintentionally taken along with another customer's order by a 3rd party delivery driver. (That's something we usually look out for but please see Item 3 below.) We told you at that time that we were re-making your order and that it had been moved to the front of the line.

3. You were aware that our attention during that ill-fated transfer was unavoidably focused on one of our employees who had collapsed while working. I believe you might have noticed her being wheeled out on a stretcher by EMS. I believe this because my review of the video clearly shows you looking up from your phone as they wheeled her past you. One could almost read your mind by the look on your face:

"Gosh... I wonder what that's... ab.. oh.. wha?... What was I just thinking about?... I guess I forgo... probably because I just started looking at my pho.... what was I thinking? OH RIGHT. WHERE'S MY CURRY?"

1. You decided to leave when we couldn't give you an exact time your curry would be finished. I know... You're pretty important, and I'm sure it's hard to believe in this ever faster turning world of ours that a Yellow Curry Chicken cooked in the standard fashion (boiled) takes 15 to 20 minutes to cook especially when the name of the restaurant so easily evokes the notion that raw chicken will be magically transformed to cooked chicken in the same brief time that a Chicken McSqidgett appears on a plastic tray in front of you at other places with happy-go-lucky names.

2. As part of our conversation, you made it clear you were out of time and that you wanted a refund. We would have offered you that refund anyway. You can't know for sure, but I do. It's part of what we do when a customer waits too long.
   Ironically, your order was being packed as I handed you the void slip for your transaction and was placed in my hands as you were storming out the door. I hope you'll forgive me for not chasing after you with it.

Sincerely,
David - Owner