Dear Montana (aka Jody),
Thanks so much for finally getting back to me regarding your recent absence from work. I'm sure it must be very scary to wake up in a hospital bed after a two day dissociative episode such as the one you mentioned in your explanatory, SMS text-based resignation. I cannot imagine losing 2 full days of my life - all the while not knowing who I am or where I live, or that I even have a job!
As per your psychiatrist's strong suggestion, we fully support your need to reduce the stress in your life. Likewise, I'm almost certain your resignation here will allow you to focus all of your energy on relaxation and on your alternate profession as an exotic dancer at a strip club here in town. Moreover, I am confident that you have made this choice with the help of your psychiatrist!
This having been said, and just so we are on the same page, I am fully aware that you were engaged in a completely coherent conversation with one of your former peers here at the restaurant prior to the start of your shift on Friday a.m. (a full 8 hours after the start of your supposed 2 day dissociative episode began per the 3:00 a.m. start time you mentioned in your lengthy text message) and that you had the wherewithal to go out and party on 6th street Friday night where you were seen by others berating that small rather unfortunate man you call your "roommate".
While your explanation and resignation are amusing and imaginative, I must wonder if the truth is something more simple and mundane. I have deduced that you were unhappy about the fact that we weren't going to let you keep clocking-in early and that we really were going to insist upon you providing us with your alcohol certificate. My guess is that having done the math, you determined your work here to be unworthy of the hassle of getting your certificate - especially given how well the other gig pays in comparison.
Finally, given what little you mentioned to me about your life and based on what I know of matters of sexual abuse from my own painful experience of having been married to someone with similar issues, I would offer this unsolicited piece of advice: You may well find the particular stress of working as a topless dancer in a strip club to be much more of a trigger for dissociation than is the stress of workng in a Thai Food & Sushi Restaurant. I could be wrong, but it just seems like something you might want to double check with your psychiatrist.
Please keep the letter you offered from the psychiatrist for your next foray into the stressful reality of adult life. We don't need it. Your final check will be available for pick up on December 1st, after 5pm. I hope it will not be too difficult for you to remember where we are and how to cash it.
Sincerely,
David - Owner