You talked a big game
And had the lovliest smile
Shadow covered you.
The kind of dark shade
That screamed you were such bad news
That my legs wanted to run
Away from your charm
And that laugh like silver bells
Too sweet to be true
So bright it betrayed
Your perfect inviting smile
Which made my skin crawl
Uncontrollably
In spite of your pretty face
Which rendered me still
You were a stranger
And your eyes a kind haven
That lied and seemed free
But I knew better
And I felt truth in my bones
For no reason I was sure
That your golden smile
Along with your sparkling wit
And your intellect
Would not save your skin
You would never have a view
Without bars to block
Those beautiful eyes
Which shone so bright and so kind
They had to be free
But eyes often lie
As do the broadest smiles
And beauty is caged
And shocked behind bars
And the smart become stupid
For no good reason
Gave up his freedom
His shot at a clear green view
For a life of speed
Outside of the law
He'd rather be jailed than bored
He doesn't look rough
Mad about that too
He's too like a gentleman
To come across tough
So the women swoon
His eyes show he's an outlaw
A dangerous man.
He could have been free
Had a fine house by the sea
And a lovely wife.
Some men are born bad.
Flirt with death instead of life.
And no good reason.
Death might dance better.
Might make the heart beat faster.
Men flirt with the end.
No one can change them.
Not the love of a woman.
I should know I tried.
He chose the fast lane.
The black dance with the reaper.
We can not know why.
We tried to save him.
He wanted no part of it.
Earned his place in hell.
These days I call him
St. Blue eyed jack ass and laugh.
Chose his bars and Hell.
That pretty fucker
Picked his cage and early death.
He can fuck himself.
Stupid decisions.
Under ground at not 3O.
Fuck his need for speed.
He was glamorous.
His thirst for drugs was ugly.
Selfish and rude.
A wish for a death
That would slap god in his face.
Ungrateful bastard.
dearest paintingangels, many thanks for giving a mercy vote to my Rude Haiku in 27 parts Volume 1 lol
It brought me great joy to write something so lengthy, terrible, rude, and absurd. If it caused you to even crack a smile I consider it a wild success lol Stay tuned. Writing Rude Haikus based in truth and animosity and also having 20 or more parts and pushing the envelope of terrible poetry and glorifying insults is already a source of great joy after just one horrendous piece. I think I've stumbled into a new project with endless possibilities and a very real possibility for unacceptable laughs. And obscenely long, rude, terribly written and offensive haikus. The possibilities are endless! And I am great at writing terrible haikus! I'm so excited! And terribly sleep deprived which only adds to the undeniable charm of a rude haiku project! The possibilities are infinite! I'm so excited! Thank you for your vote of confidence in my delirious brainchild. Nowhere for this to go but up! My distaste for haikus coupled with my distaste for the real people who inspire them is a recipe for absolute joy lol Rude Haikus inspired by rude people. What fun! Although all haikus will be absolutely factual, the subjects of poetic and totally earned rudeness will remain anonymous. Except for the Rude Haiku inspired by the second rate Beat Poet Ed Sanders. That bastard earned his dedication. And will be named because he completely deserves a really bad, exceptionally rude Haiku, and I am just the jackass to make sure he gets what's coming to him.
Oh, joy, will that be a hoot! Anyway thank you again, Serena. Even if it was a mercy vote you gave me the confidence to persue Rude Haikus! And I am inspired! Grazie, Angel face. Great to be back on Steemit! What fun! ☺
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Well I loved it and I love YOU and I'm so happy to see you back here! There is actually a haiku bot here that will turn comments in haikus.. ha ha. It's funny.
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A brief explanation of this terrible piece.
I'm gonna catch hell for this, but I can't stand haikus. There. I said it.
The only poetry I think even less of is Beat Poetry, especially the terrible work of Ed Sanders, who I met and can say with confidence that the man is even worse than his awful poems.
But back to my point. I have terrible insomnia and at around hour 78 without sleep I decided it would be hilarious to write rude haikus. It goes without saying that said haikus would not only be rude but terrible, as the vast majority of haikus are.
This ridiculous piece is based on a former friend of mine and is especially hilarious because it is in 27 parts. The rudeness I think only adds to the hilarity. Or maybe it's the lack of sleep. No matter, I cracked myself up to pieces and have decided to create a running series of offensively lengthy rude haikus. Mainly because I can no longer engage in any way with facebook, and my insomnia interferes with any hopes I may have had of writing respectable poems, and all of my ensuing rude haikus are my tiny contribution to actual people I am no longer fond of, and writing them makes me giggle like a little girl.
I hope you find my obnoxiously long rude haikus as absurdly funny as I do.
If you are less than amused or even slightly offended, I recommend not sleeping for at least 78 hours and I promise you will appreciate the hilarity. My next rude haiku will be dedicated to the below average Beat Poet Ed Sanders. Based on his outrageously rude and 100% true behavior when I had the terrible misfortune of having lunch with him. Stay tuned! If ever anyone deserved a rude haiku written exclusively for him it is this jackass. I promise you. Enjoy!
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