{This piece as written when 1999 was getting ready to become 2000. It is reprinted from FRED's Papers' December 30th, 1999 issue.}
The champagne glasses are filled and raised. "10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1... Happy New Year!" "Auld Lang Syne" can be heard in the background. A tradition that was carried out for many years by Guy Lombardo continues. However, there is a major difference from past years. We have reached the year 2000.
How do we refer to this new decade? There were the 60s, 70s, 80s and the 90s. How do we deal with the zeros? Y2K is not just a computer problem, it's an emotional one as well. How do you tell someone that you grew up with the music of the zeros? After all, the "blank generation" already took place.
Because of the new millennium, sex reached an all time high in April of 1999. Many couples were trying to consummate the first baby to be born in the year 2000. This obviously led to a decrease in contraceptive sales. However, visits to the doctor were on the rise, as well as the sale of baby-related products.
The computer programmers at FRED's aren't worried about the Y2K situation. Why would a computer believe that 00 means 1900 when computers weren't around back then? While it is true that newspapers and banks possess date-reliant programs, there are repair programs to combat this situation. All these programs are designed to do is remind the computer that 00 means 2000. Even though it is not in our lifetime, what happens when Y3K hits?
The year 2000 is only a day after December 31st, 1999. How much can really change after a few days? Taxes will still be there. However, Y2K can help people out with this situation. Date-reliant tax records would make plenty of people happy if they were to get lost. Gas prices will still be too high. Ken Griffey, Jr. will still be utilizing his veto on trades. While Charlie Brown won't have any new adventures, Pokémon fever will continue to rise. The kids on Barney will be too old to carry on with new programs. With all of the scandals associated with the White House this year, expect stars of animated television series to adopt Presidential campaigns. At least, the new members of Congress can be erased if they appear to get out of line.
While there is an advertisement on television trying to change the way we think about zero, our thoughts on this number will have to wait until the new year hits. With everything virtually being controlled by computers, one can only hope that they've all been updated so as not to be effected by a double zero. Otherwise, Three Dog Night will have to change their old hit to say: "number zero is the loneliest number." On the other hand, starting over from zero might be the medicine necessary to change the luck of most people.
{Now, we know everyone worried for nothing!}