Conversations with mental Larvas

in satire •  6 years ago 
I remember this one time this guy came up to me and said - "Hey, you look like you have a lot of money already.... Why don't you give me some?" - I looked back at the guy and said to him with a straight face - "Well, you are wrong, I'm actually not wealthy". What happened next was just amazing, and it basically changed the way I saw the world with one logical batmove - "I saw you driving a good car and eating a big sandwich, you are a greedy bastard".

WOKE AF, right there

I mean, nobody had ever pointed out the fact that I just drove a car and ate a sandwich, the logic was perfect, irrefutable, with enough proofs in enough pudins to open up an awkward bakery.

So I did the right thing of course, now that I had been woken by this random dude life had lost all its meaning and my car felt... not mine anymore. I looked at WokeDude gave him a big smile and told him - "Here, you can have my car, here is my wallet, there's 20 bucks in there too... and use up the credit cards, the limits pretty decent... and... Thank you, Thank you for telling me exactly what I needed to hear".

You know how these things work right? I mean, its real simple, people need to learn about the truths of the world and the problems of greed. Like, if you want to have a car, that's not because you are trying to improve yourself or anything like that, hahahahahaha, that is what the greedy people want you to think, because they own the car companies. You gotta be WOKE AF and give them away. Just wait for the first dude to call you greedy, and you give it to that guy. The best part is that you take him down twice, because all of the sudden he's the greedy one. GET IT? hahahahah its amazing...

So there I was right, I had to go home and tell my wife I just got woke AF in the Walmart Parking lot. She was doing her thing, she was watching TV or something like that and I see the commercial, you know what I'm talking about right? You know the commercial.



Its the most WOKE commercial in human history, because its not manipulative in the least. Not like all the other commercials they put out there trying to get you to buy products. WOOOOW!!! DID YOU EVEN KNOW THAT? of course you didn't because they got you, they got you.

Don't worry, I don't judge, they had me too, but I defeated them, I took them down. As a matter of fact that day, I looked at my wife and I told her she had to say goodbye to the TV. Can you believe she got mad at me? I was like WHAAAAAAAA???? I MEAN DON'T YOU KNOW YOU ARE BEING GREEDY!!! COME ON!!! GET WOKE WITH ME!!!!

Can you believe she left? I still don't know what I ever did to her, I was nothing but kind to her all the time, all the time. I've been thinking about the kids, I mean, she won't get them woke enough I just know it. In those schools they don't do a good job at all, they don't teach guilt and greed.



Everything is great now, its perfect as a matter of fact, because ever since I got woke I've been living like we where meant to live. I mean, I don't eat everyday but I know how to get a meal when I absolutely have to... you just gotta call someone greedy to their face.

Just like that guy did to me, and then.... they gotta give you the food, and the best part is that you are actually helping them!!!

It's amazing how it works... Amazing...

Disclaimer.- If you feel offended by any of this I apologize, but these are thought experiments and as such the idea is to do that, experiment. Sometimes hyperbole conflates with myopic stupidity and creates fascinating chaotic scenarios that serve as distorted perspectives.


Other posts by yours truly

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• If the keyboard takes over I want impunity
• It doesn't look like anything to me
• Open Mic Week 87 - Top 5 Selection and Honorable Mentions
• An open Letter to those who claim to care

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Some nice shoes you have Meno. If you were woke you would be walking bare foot. Just saying.

You are right my friend... I've just destroyed them... the devil has no power over me.

Now... you are truly woke.
Congratulations. :D

I agree with the burning shoes! ;-)

Nice! I like thought-experiments and they don't have to be on Schrodinger's level to be amazing, you just proved that :-) Only my brain ain't woke af enough atm because I spent all my Woke AF energy on @silentscreamer's post ;-) All I will say for now is that this funny story tells of only one of the many paradoxes of a scarcity based economy in a world of abundance...

Thanks for a great read @meno, you did it again :-)

I loved her post too, great ideas... I'm bullish my friend, I'm bullish because its gonna be up to us. We can make this work

Don't you realize that you're supposed to eat dirt sandwiches and wear rags wrapped around your feet to show how woke you are?
Car? Why aren't you riding a bicycle with flat tires, man? Show your humbleness, man!

Amber, lets get woke together... i take your stuff.. you take my stuff...

I'm already carried a through your experience and story brother. I really find the piece valuable though some certain things look ridiculous, as you have putting it. But it still teaches some moral brother, always in support of your work.

How can you have all those sbd in your wallet, I think you are meno and not steemit... Lol
Just saying anyway

You just gotta eat lots of little sandwiches instead of one big one.

Yes, that's it... silly me... hahahahaahaha the guilt can't be used against me then... perfect.