Study: 48% Of Gym-Goers Work Out So They Can Eat Junk Food

Researchers at University of Illinois, Chicago recently released study results showing the most popular reasons for going to the gym:

• 48% "To justify eating junk food."
• 39% "To help get laid."
• 5% "To stare at the women."
• 4% "To feel good."
• 3% "Free pizza at Planet Fitness."
• 1% "Other."

Our team went out in search of these people to get a first-hand perspective. At a nearby health club, we spoke to a local resident who was a part of that 48%.

Tim Dainio, a long-time Miami resident, told our reporter I hated that I could never find an excuse to hit the gym. But on the rare occasion when I worked out, I’d see people eating salads and shit by the juice bar. I’d tell them: “Dude, you don’t need to workout if you’re on the hamster diet! You’re already skinny.”

They'd utter some nonsense to me like:

Eating healthy isn't just about looking good, I do it so I can live a long and healthy life. So I wake up every morning feeling great and have energy throughout the day. I do it so I can see my children and grandchildren grow up and get married.

Yeah, okay. Keep telling yourself that.

In 2017 I'm making a resolution to eat a metric crap ton of unhealthy food, so I actually have a reason to work out. I refuse to be fake and pretend that I'm working out because I care about friends and family. I'm doing it for me. I'm doing it because I enjoy drinking Mountain Dew and eating Cheetos while watching Storage Wars marathons.

Tim went on to say: My wife starts sleeping around when my body passes the 200 lb. mark, so I plan to keep that 198 lb. mediocre "dad bod" figure. Some individuals try to tell me I'm not "in shape," but to these meddlesome people I say, 'round IS a shape.'

P.S. There's something hidden within this post. I'll send 20 STEEM to the first person to point out this particular thing.