The Snot Goblin - A Cautionary Tale

Story by @seomommasays

I watch with bated breath as a story unfolds that plumbs the breadth and depth of bald faced skulduggery. The internet is, as I have been known to say a time or two a wonderland of information, entertainment and discovery. You just never know what's behind the next link you click.

More importantly, you never know who you'll meet. Could be the love of your life, could be Satan in disguise. The thing is, you just never know. That uncertainty can be entertaining and at other times terrifying.

Yes, the internet that I love does have a dark side. The story I'm watching is part of the dark side, so take a trip with me to the forest of broken promises, wade through the swamp of lies, fight the trolls that hide under bridges, waiting for innocent travellers to pass. Consider it a cautionary tale. Once upon a time, in a land far away there was a young hero, he didn't know he was a hero and certainly I suspect no one else thought of him as such. Absolutely, the Snot Goblin who'd worked his way into our hero's life didn't see him that way.

Once the snot goblin had our hero under his roof, he started to try and take over his life because, and this is important, our hero was a techmage, something the snot goblin badly needed because he couldn't turn even a knob, his hands were so slimy.

As in all cautionary tales, the snot goblin didn't look evil, to start with that is. Our hero didn't see through the spell the snot goblin wore, at least, not at first.

A techmage is someone who can perform magic with machines, he (or she) can create magical things that are amazing. They can help people see, return movement to broken limbs and even create true money out of nothing, money that keeps its value, not like goblin gold which vanishes in the sun as everyone knows.

Well our snot goblin couldn't come up with ideas on his own, after all, snot goblins are not known for their brains, only their low cunning. They do have one magical talent though, one that allows them to fool so many people. They have 'the gift of the gab'. Yes, they can talk in such a way that they fool people into thinking they're talking sense and are clever, kind and above all selfless.

And so it was with our hero, even though he was a techmage, he was taken in by the glamor spell of the snot goblin.

After some time had passed, our hero started work on the biggest and best technological magic that he'd ever tried to create. He started to create gold coins out of thin air.

The snot goblin was delighted and started to tell everyone that he and his partner (our hero) were creating something totally unique and amazing and, that it would make everyone rich! All they had to do was send him some silver. With his 'gift of the gab' spell in full working order, he began to encourage people to come together, to help build the dream.

So they did, they walked through the forest, not seeing that every tree had grown from a lie. When they got to the center, they found what appeared to be a beautiful lake. There were magic boats with little blue birds to pull them to the island at the center of the lake.

Everyone who gathered there was so excited, this was so exciting and they thanked the snot goblin, time and time again for allowing them to be part of the dream.

For a while, everything seemed wonderful, then some of the travellers began to wonder, to start it was little things. Promises made by the snot goblin weren't kept. Of course, he said it wasn't his fault, someone had broken in and stolen things from him, or hadn't delivered on their promises.

Little by little, his spell began to wane, because although he was an admirer of the The Snot Goblin in Chief, he didn't have his spell power. In other words, he'd bitten off more than he could chew in trying to fool so many people.

People began to want to leave the island, which is when they discovered the beautiful lake wasn't actually a lake but a swamp, a swamp made up of snot goblin broken promises, which as everyone knows are slimy, sticky and difficult to wade through. They're also very, very difficult to wash off!

Once they'd fought their way through the trolls that lived in the swamp, they came to the forest. Here, now the spell was broken they could see the sharp grasping branches of the tress, each formed of the lies told by the snot goblin.

More trolls resided here and tried to confuse the people, sometimes turning them around so much that they fell back under the snot goblins spell. They wandered in the forest, lost and confused.

All through this, our hero worked and worked and worked. While he worked, the snot goblin persuaded more and more people to give him silver in return for a share of the gold coins our hero was making.

The more people the snot goblin spoke to, the thinner his spell became until one day, our hero asked a question. He asked "what are we doing with the silver?" With an almighty crash, and a very loud bash the 'gift of the gab' spell broke and our hero woke up, horrified to find himself in the middle of the swamp of lies. He was a techmage however, so he was able to escape without wading through the swamp or fighting his way through the forest.

But the snot goblin wasn't going to give up without a fight, so he sent out the call to his trolls, he used their messaging system to send out announcements that our hero had stolen all the snot goblins gold coins.

His lies grew greater as he realised how much gold our hero could make that he would no longer have.

Then a mighty band of warriors charged through the forest, drained the swamp and drove the snot monster from his island.

He didn't give up though, he found another island and started telling everyone that his new island was much better than his old one and that the coins our hero made were worthless. He then found another techmage, not as good as our hero of course because he could only make worthless brass coins.

The snot goblin didn't stop, he told more lies and broke more promises, he was after all a snot goblin.

At this point, you're wondering how the story end I expect. It hasn't, because it's an ongoing story, it never ends. When one snot goblin dies, another rises in its place.

So be cautious when someone tells you that by giving him a little silver you can have a lot of gold. Before you part with silver you should check, check and double check, that the person you're giving your money to, is reliable.

Are there plans for forward movement that you can verify? Do they answer questions promptly and clearly? Do they stick to a time plan? Ask around and find out as much as you can.

This is especially true of the newest rage, cryptocurrencies. There are a couple of thousand coins out there, all vying to be the next bitcoin. Before you invest, make sure the coin is real, is different and has a clear road map of how they will develop and market the coin. If it doesn't get used in the real world, it will not gain or hold value.

Don't be fooled by a snot goblin, look for a hero!