This month marks two years since I was diagnosed as schizophrenic. I decided to write a journal entry, reflection, on my condition to mark the occasion. Here are the results:
Reflection, looking back I am still in shock in a way. That it happened and I am now living with the illness I always feared obtaining. You have these fears in life and my biggest one was to wake up one day crazy and out of my mind.
It's been a rough road. With schizophrenia you lose so much besides health. That is where I would like to focus is on the lose of the things other than my health. You lose friends and family and the ability for people to trust you and believe what you are saying. Those things combined with the lose of career were hard to handle all at once much less when your not your right self.
It's like you wake up and your whole life is over everything and everyone you knew are things of the past. You wake up to a new world, a new reality and to your interactions with others changing. It's a lot to take in all at the same time.
And in a way, feels how I imagine death will feel. You embark on a journey through a strange foreign land. A land filled with new things and new people and you search for former land or self but there's no going back. You are in a new life and then your realize life is a blessing and this new world while different is able to be lived in. You can have a life here.
So life is good. I have come to acceptance that life can once again be good. I don't believe I will ever embrace how different schizophrenia makes me from the general population but I can accept who I am.
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I have a friend who has the same condition. she shared same that people do freak out and tend to shy away. but as long as u take meds and be the best u can be daily, youre just perfect. many people are unaware and dont understand. but there will be people who will still be there for u! :) u know van gogh is one of the most sensational artists nowadays even if hes been gone a long time. He had schizophrenia. back then nobody understood him and they thought his art is weird. but now, look how many people his art inspires. you are creative and have a broad imagination. Dont feel scared. being diagnosed is only for awareness and control. its a good thing,. youre still you and keep going. everyones got a lot to offer <3 be a little ball of sunshine :D
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Thank you for the kind words I needed them this early morning gm I am sorry your friend has the illness my I have my husband and children that are my rock they keep me strong and give me a reason to take the monthly injection I receive.
The illness is what it is. I know things will be okay and that life will be happy. Maybe not acheive success in my career that looked so promising, maybe not being extremely socially active, but focusing on family, love , and wellness has gained me a new perspective on life.
Life is about love and the energy you send out through your loving actions. You, my friend, send out good vibrations of energy. Please enjoy your day.
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Learn through your journey and yes, focus on family and love :D thank you! for u too :D have a great day
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Nice post @kristy0
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Thank you.
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nice post. i vote to your post and following. plz u also vote and following me. thanks
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