Outraged!

Doctors have put me at risk for a plethora of diseases, without any informed consent at all. I am absolutely outraged and disgusted at the position they’ve put me in, let me explain.

I was recording there today, and as I’ve noticed happening the past few sessions, I began to get uncontrollably shaky hands and arms. I have read in the past that anti-psychotics can give you irreversible movement disorders, so I have mentioned it to my mum. She just shrugged it off as me being a hypochondriac. That’s fair enough, maybe she doesn’t want to accept the fact that I’m getting side effects from the meds, because then I might have to stop them all together.

I have also mentioned it to the nurse that gives me the anti-psychotic injection every month too. She laughed and shrugged it off too. I mean, I have read that the patient should be taken seriously, especially when showing symptoms of a movement disorder. I don’t even think she told the actual psychiatrist and it looks like I’m going to have to do it myself. My next appointment with him is in 5 months time though.

So I decided to do some research on movement disorders and anti-psychotics. I found a few scholarly articles and read through them. My fears began to grow when I heard the words Huntingtons disease mentioned, Parkinsons disease, Electro-convulsive therapy. I was very upset by the end of the article. I still am, but I am also outraged that the psychiatrist would put me at risk of catching any of these diseases, without even telling me about the possible side effects of the medication!

I cant begin to describe how outraged I am. But let me try. The medication I was put on, (2 different high dosages of Anti-Psychotics) are known to cause the following movement disorders. Dystonia, Parkinsonism, Akathisia, Catatonia, Neuroleptic Malignant Syndrome, and last but not least, the irreversible Tardive Diskenesia, which , I quote, :

‘ The differential diagnosis of TD includes acute EPS, transient withdrawal dyskinesias, spontaneous dyskinesias associated with schizophrenia and aging, Wilson’s disease, Huntington’s disease, Sydenham’s chorea, chorea gravidarum, Fahr’s syndrome, systemic lupus, senile chorea, Meige syndrome, edentulous chorea, infarction or lesions of the basal ganglia, post-anoxic and encephalitic states, Tourette’s syndrome, torsion dystonia, spasmodic torticollis, hyperthyroidism, hypoparathyroidism, and conversion disorder. ‘

I realise this is just a differential diagnosis, which means the movement disorder is a symptom of each of these diseases. But I still have to suffer through the symptom if I have a movement disorder.

I was not informed of any of this, which by law, is supposed to be explained before being forced onto Anti-Psychotics. Its called informed consent. The definition of which is as follows:

permission granted in full knowledge of the possible consequences, typically that which is given by a patient to a doctor for treatment with knowledge of the possible risks and benefits.

I have been told I requested the fact sheet with all possible side effects before I was given the drugs, and evaluated them with my lawyer. I was still psychotic at the time though, I couldn’t give informed consent.

It didn’t bother me until I started getting muscle spasms, twitching, restless leg syndrome and now uncontrollable tremors in my hands and arms. The treatment for some of these side-effects is Electro-Convulsive Therapy which involves getting your brain electrocuted by a big machine! Its barbaric and in the scholarly articles I read, they’re giving it as a possible treatment like its no big thing!

I now have to meet the psychiatrist and discuss the possibility of me tapering off my meds, if I truly do have a movement disorder, this is supposed to be done immediately after symptoms appear which was several months ago when I told the nurse just to be shrugged off.

If I am taken off my meds, how will I cope? I will no doubt hear voices, see visions and believe delusional thoughts. I could be hospitalised for the rest of my life! And if I am hospitalised, I will just be put back on the meds. Im in turmoil here as to what to do.

The psychiatrist could prescribe me anti-cholinergic drugs to counter the movement disorder, which have an even longer list of side effects, very serious ones including dementia, hallucinations, seizure, coma and death.

So what do I do? Go on taking Anti-Psychotics and develop irreversible movement disorders? Or get taken off them and be clinically insane for the rest of my life? I feel my duty would be to let myself suffer from these diseases rather than become a danger to society.

The shaking could be an emotional reaction to the songs I’m recording though. They are very deep, heartfelt verses about pain I’ve gone though in the past. Traumatic events and how they deeply hurt me. I have recorded competitive verses this week too, and didn’t start shaking then.

The other and most likely possibility though, is that I am getting the shakes from caffeine. I drink a lot of coffee. Maybe ten cups a day, if not more. Its probably a mix of all these elements combined. But it has left me questioning what I will do if it is a movement disorder, and as of yet I have no answers.

As a psychiatric patient, with Paranoid Schizophrenia, reading these articles was a very scary thing. Take a look at them, put yourself in my shoes, and read the lists of diseases and side-effects, horrific treatments and prognosis’ of what your medication could possibly do to you below:

Terrifying Medical Articles