Sex appeal is not on purpose. - Heather Locklear
Correct, Heather. It's sophistication at its best.
To me one of the most attractive types of sex appeal is intelligence. I can't help myself, but I'm totally into attributes such as a keen perception, a mercurial mind and eloquent talking.
Intelligent people have a strong external effect. They literally fill rooms with their aura and charisma. But besides these soft facts there's a series of hard facts - real personality traits - which are often found in and generally characterize intelligent people.
What is it that makes intelligent people so attractive? As always: science has the answers!
Picture kindly provided by pixabay.com
A man's intelligence is a massive turn-on!
Raise your hand if you agree!
It's neither the three-day beard nor the fancy sunglasses. It's the way he engages with his environment.
The last time I fell in love with someone it was due to his way to speak. I'm not kidding! I was absolutely fascinated by the way he was able to use his language, making words become tools to express himself in a very unique way.
I literally embraced his vocabulary :-)
We love nerds, and that has even a scientific background.
Intelligent people have a very developed and wide range of strong character traits that make them become very interesting personalities. The attraction is based in the strength of the individual.
Let's check it out: what makes them so interesting?
According to scientists, these are typical traits of highly intelligent people:
Source: 8 Personality Traits of Highly Intelligent People (Backed by Science)
- They're highly adaptable: Intelligent people adapt by showing what can be done regardless of the complications or restrictions placed upon them. They love challenges and change.
- They understand how much they don't know: The smartest folks are able to admit when they aren't familiar with a particular concept. They're pretty aware of their skills but have no need to be arrogant.
- They have insatiable curiosity: Even Albert Einstein reportedly said, "I have no special talents, I am only passionately curious." Smart people are thirsty. They love learning new things and constantly broadening their horizons.
- They're open-minded: They don't close themselves off to new ideas or opportunities at any time.
- They like their own company: Intelligent people tend to be very individualistic. They appreciate social connection, but don't need it all the time to be fulfilled.
- They have high self-control: Scientists have found a link between self-control and intelligence. Smart people are able to overcome impulsiveness and carefully plan their next steps.
- They're really funny: Highly intelligent people tend to have a great sense of humor which is due to their well developed verbal intelligence.
- They're sensitive to other people's experiences: Smart people show a high level of empathy. Also emotionally intelligent individuals are typically very interested in talking to new people and learning more about them.
Concluding, the intelligent man is adaptable, humble, curious, open-minded, self-suficient, self-controled, funny and empathic. What a package! :-)
If some of us are purely attracted by these type of personalities, then science has created even a word for them.
Viva Sapiosexuality!
A sapiosexual is defined as a person who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature.
The brain is the largest sex organ. Those who admit to being sapiosexual will say that they are turned on by the brain and tend to be teased or excited by the insights of another person. As foreplay, the sapiosexual person may crave philosophical, political or psychological discussions because this turns [him or her] on. - Diana Rabb (Ph.D in psychology)
Scientist have suggested a number of reasons that lead us towards understanding the link between intelligence and attraction, but having studied the above mentioned 'typical personality traits' I think it boils down to 'substance'. Smart people know that substance is hard to achieve in life, and that's why they're very independent people for instance.
Smart people don't go half-way. They go all-in or leave it be.
If you think about it in terms of human evolution, our ancient ancestors would supposedly have wanted an intelligent partner simply for the purposes of survival. Now on an evolutionary level we're a couple of steps ahead, but still the wish to share our time with a strong partner is a basic instinct that always exists in us.
And you, have you ever fallen in love with a person because of her/his smartness?
Then we'd have one more thing in common :-)
Enjoy your weekend!
Much love, Marly -
PS: Don't for get that it's #LoveFriday 🖤 - my favourite series on steemit, created and hosted by the wonderful @liliana.duarte.
Thanks for your valuable time!
This blog was launched at the end of July 2016
aiming to provide stories for open-minded
people who enjoy living on the edge of their lives,
stepping out of comfort zones, going on adventure,
doing extreme sports and embracing the new.
Welcome to the too-much-energy-blog!
PS: Don't forget that this is a troll-free zone.
Original content. Quotes found on boldomatic.com and themindsjournal.com.
I love how she can tell and teach me things. She studies, in my eyes, a shit complicated subject which I am 0% familiar with: chemistry. But I love to learn from her she generally knows most answers to my day-to-day scientific questions. When doesn't know an answer to my question, she will find out and/or look it up for me. She has a scientific curiosity as well as a driven personality which I really admire as both traits really do compliment eachother.
I am really enjoying this - especially after dating my exes who dropped out of school and worked or did nothing. Dating someone doing their masters really is a different world.
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Nicely said! Thanks for the insight @sjennon :-) According to the comments, it's seems that a lot of steemians share this idea. Great to know!!
I hope you're enjoying a great weekend :-)
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Thanks! And I guess so! Also found a discussion on Facebook on dating someone from not your country - was also quite interesting to read :)
The weekend was great actually! I hope you've been holding up in your white gown ;)
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The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends.We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love..
Thanks for a beautiful and interesting content @surfermarly
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Wisely said, @prince121.
The pleasure is mine. Have a great weekend! :-)
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Thanks for appreciating my thought @sufermarly... I think its the reality....
Have a nice weekend..too..
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Oh I love that! Very nicely said!
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Absolutely, 100% agree with you Marly!
Happy to read your post: You would appreciate how often I reference thesaurus.com in writing on Steemit.
If you need a pick me-up for your spirits to get charged up for the weekend, you know where to go 😉
Super fun at the poker game with you the last night in Lisbon!
Steemfest 3 can't get here soon enough!
Have an awesome weekend,
Craiggles 😀
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Craiggles!
Lisbon was a blast, and I often think about the experience. We'd need to repeat such a steemy poker session one day :-)
Great minds think alike - charging spirits is never a bad idea, hehe
Enjoy your weekend, too!!
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Yes! Absolutely another steemy poker night at Steemfest 3!
Hope you plan on giving another presentation with updates on your charitable efforts; your talk that day in Lisbon was wonderful and inspiring 😊
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this is part of life
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here you go sister ;)
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Hehe, groovy! :-) Thanks for the link.
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well, its a different article but intersting. my ans is No, i always see the peoples mind & their attitude, not their smartness. if i select any smart guy then he use to me & go ahed any others girls. so this is not a life. smartness means not a good look, smartness means good attitude & good heart. thanks
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A man is known by his words not by his looks. Physical appearance may be gone but those words that are spoken can never be forgotten. Words would have a deepr effect than fancy sunglasses and cool beard. Seductive power of words is superior.
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Sapiosexual, a new term for the vocabulary! Great write up @sufermarly!
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My husband this what you explained calls intellectual addiction...Intellectual addiction is the best type of addiction and worse in the same time. The Best because to be addicted to intellect can make you grow...The bad is because if other side doesn't love You, than you will have relationship as Don Miguel Ruiz says, relationship among Drug dealer and Drug addict and this is the Fear way, not Love way...
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oviously i select the smart boy. without smartness life brings very bore. sex is the important part of life & smartness is the important part of sex. life is too short time so let's enjoy it.
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Is "sapiosexual" a real thing? I think it is. If I learn a woman has a graduate degree (masters, PhD) or is in some way very smart it makes her dramatically more attractive to me.
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Haha, look - then it definitely exists :-)
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I also love intelligent people and elloquent talkers
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Well, the guy in the picture really looks very intelligent! 😉
To be honest, I think sapiosexuality is a myth. Would you rather date @Dan or George Clooney? We are not talking about who is more interesting to talk to and spend a nice evening, but with whom you want to have sex.
I think, intelligence is certainly a nice to have "feature", but not the main reason why any woman will date a man - ergo: there is no sapiosexuality.
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I think it depends on how you define intelligence. Have you read the list above? I guess both Dan Larimer and George Clooney would comply with a couple of these points :-)
Smartness and physical attractivity don't have to be necessarily extremes. We tend to pigeonhole people very quickly according to their physical appearance. What I like about the concept of sapiosexuality is that it defines attractivity according to strong personality traits - and not to physical pattern.
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I'd like to go all thumbs up and say 'go nerds!', but I think you're conflating a bunch of things and calling it intelligence.
There are many different types of intelligence and almost nobody has all of them. There's probably a guy meditating on a mountaintop who has the most self-intelligence of anyone who ever lived, but it's not going to get him a girlfriend. Would you agree that Elon Musk is intelligent? I don't think anybody has ever accused him of being sensitive to other people's experiences. Do you know anything about Einstein's relationships? They were not a model to emulate.
If anything, people who are the poster children for intelligence are highly adapted to one thing and a disaster at most other things. I think you alluded to this with, 'Smart people don't go half-way. They go all-in or leave it be.'
I'm not saying there aren't people out there who have all of these traits at level 10, but they are not highly intelligent. If they exist at all, they are unicorns.
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Well the idea of this article was actually not to define the perfect human being - or unicorns as you called them :-) - but to explain that sex appeal is much more than physical appearance. I also didn't say that someone has to fulfill all of the points mentioned here, I just said that scientist have defined these personality traits as characteristic for especially intelligent people. Still nobody said that if you don't fit in these pattern, you're not intelligent. Life is not only black and white, there are many shades of grey, and so it happens with human beings. I didn't came to know Einstein and his relationships personally, but I guess it would've been a quite interesting encounter :-)
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This article resonates with me. So much do that I just resteemed it, and I rarely ever do that.
Great post @surfermarly 🌊🏄♀️🧠
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ma'am thanks for your share.
really i enjoyed your article too much.
i liked it ma'am!
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I think nowadays people look for intelligence for long term relationships.. :) For short term people usually prefer to go for the looks.
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I definitely agree. Intelligence is certainly something I look for.
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Dating smart people is really good but one thing you should be aware of is the fact that they can be stubborn at times.
They can be very dependent, yes! I totally agree. It pays to be intelligent.
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Hmmmm. From those 8 points above, I'm beginning to see myself as a bit intelligent.
BTW, you forgot to add 'y' to 'the' on 2&3 above.
About your question, I crushed on a schoolmate in high school back in the days. I guess she noticed that, and she made the move of first asking me out because she is a definition of 'sapiosexual' from your post above.
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Very interesting way of validating why nerdism can be sexy for some
Now I can call myself a sapiosexual LOL
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Or in other words:
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We must love an intelligent guy, right!? My hands are raised :) Thanks for joining #LoveFriday with such a theme!
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