I like your storyline.
Is this a short story or a first chapter? I see where it could grow into a novel.
Don't get discouraged; you haven't been discovered here yet. I recommend using the tagline story-mentor hosted by @mechelle.gent.
Some excellent writers hang out there, and you may find some great advice too!
With content like this, you will do well here. Persevere, my friend, you have talent.
CARRY ON!
Sorry for the tardy reply. It's a background story for a series of novels I plan to write after I finish my current series.
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