SECRET WRITER: The Working Dead, Eating My Soul Alive

in secret-writer •  8 years ago 

I realized the other day that I am not saving lives, not contributing to anything meaningful, but I am at my job day to day, hitting the grind just to survive, selling my soul. Sound familiar?

Well I don’t want to accept this, I don’t want to spend 80% of my day or life in a place that I don’t want to be at, around people that I don’t necessarily even like. I made a couple promises to myself many years ago and here they are:

Surround yourself with positive people.

Life is short, make the most out of every day.

Enjoy the simple things in life.

Well the above is easier said than done, and my day job failure is not an option, yet how do I let myself fail at my own promises?

Backtracking a bit, a little background on me. I am a successful IT Manager, I manage over 40 staff within 9 teams at a large telecom company, but who cares right? The title nor the money makes me happy, in fact, quite the opposite in the following ways:

Constantly stressed

Suffer from anxiety

Take medication

Don’t get me wrong this article is not about being negative, in fact, it’s the opposite, it’s the realization that there is a problem, that there is ‘something better out there’ and that you should walk down the path and fight for it. If you don’t accept failure at work, then accepting failure in creating a better life for yourself is a non-negotiable.

So I am at these crossroads, reliant on a soul-destroying journey to nowhere and wanting a better life, to feel human again.

How do I start this journey you may be asking yourself? Good question. Below is a personal insight of my journey to happiness, summarized for ease of reading.

Firstly, make good on my own promises:

Surround yourself with positive people:

I have an amazing woman in my life, I support her wholeheartedly, I have good, positive friends that push and inspire me. My family are a work-in-progress, like they say…

Life is short, make the most out of every day:

I created simple goals with daily positive affirmations. Make a daily effort to do more sport, to destress, get outdoors and in the mountains more and to take a breather when everything feels overwhelming. I have also realized that saying ‘No’ is a good thing, that failing at certain things is actually ‘OK’.

Enjoy the simple things in life:

Laugh, at others and yourself, don’t sweat the small things in life. I have my health and I can do anything I put my mind towards. Enjoy that cappuccino with friends, that moment on the couch with your loved ones, that holiday away, suck up all the good you can and record it in your memory banks for life.

Secondly, trust in yourself – you can do it.

Thirdly, if you can plan at work, meet milestones and deadlines then you can plan your journey to happiness. It’s that’s simple, keep positive and make the time to be happy.

Join me on my journey to happiness.

-Secret Writer

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I think a lot of people are stuck in a job they don't like and feel like it is crushing their soul.

I have been thinking about this a lot and I think if your job is making you really unhappy you should ask yourself why you are still doing it.

It isn't easy in the current circumstances to contemplate leaving a secure job but you don't have to do that.

You can use your spare time (not matter how scarce it is) to investigate what you really want to do and start making a plan towards getting there.

It may take a long time, you may need to re-educate yourself (which is expensive as well as time consuming), it may in the short term make things more stressful but it will ultimately be worth.

All the other things that you have suggested are great measures for enhancing your life in general but i don't think they are dealing with the true issue.

Simply having a goal and a plan to achieve it can make a huge difference in your quality of life. It might also actually improve how you feel about your current job if you start to look at it as a means to get you to your goal.

You don't want to get to the end of your life and have regrets. If you have an ambition to do something else, no matter how different it is, look into doing it whilst you still can.

You only get one life.

"All the other things that you have suggested are great measures for enhancing your life in general but i don't think they are dealing with the true issue." Exactly.

  ·  8 years ago (edited)

Wage slavery is one of the most dreadful things one can experience @stellabelle . My advice is take your skills and start something yours. You might not get as much money at the beginning but the free time will earn you more networking and other opportunities as you go along. You will also realise that you don't need as much money as you have thought. This can even help you find your true passion.

Avoid surrounding yourself with only "positive" people. They will create a bubble glass illusion of reality. You will never have true friends but puppets that keep appearances. Aim to find true people even if they are rude and negative. Reality is a bitch and it needs to be faced head on.

"Reality is a bitch and it needs to be faced head on." Well, you're correct. This is hard pill to swallow, though, and most will not be able to do this.
Death, and the inevitability of it was the main cause for me writing my book and taking a hard look at my shitty life. I did not want to enter the grave with regrets. The irreversibility of death can be a strong motivator. The problem for most people lies in the fact that they refrain from thinking about their own death. They choose the path of least resistance instead of the one they passionately want. Milque toast living is an anathema.

As I really connect to all this (well who doesnt?), i would like to add one more thing, its not a continuation of number 1, its a seperate point.

  • Get rid off everything that stresses you

Sounds easy right? Well, no. Plus one has to be reaslistic. You can come and say "money stresses me"... Of course we live in a world where money twists the wheels.
But there is alwasy am alternative. I.E in this case crypto, further on its steem.

Back to my point. "How is it done".
Well its one of those things that is done over on a piece of paper. You take one, draw a line in the middle and start to write on the left - what is possible to get rid off easily. On the right - things that would need an alternative.

Life becomes much simpler after that.

One more thing that i would do to feel happier, it to make a list of 100 things you wish to accomplish - but they have to be realistic, and the list ALWAYS has to be on 100, so if youa chieve one, have another one. Sounds easy? Well i've only met 1 person, who managed to write such a list down.

So life is beautiful. its just that we sometimes wear the wrong glasses

A list is a good option, it's worth spending some time thinking about your own achievements, good point

If you are curious how I managed to go from wage slave to living my own dream, I will tell you. It's not glamorous at all, but it worked for me. I got a job as a delivery driver, which freed up my mind for 8 hours per day. I listened to around 7 hours of podcasts, audiobooks, etc. on a wide range of topics that interested me. I listened to the following books that changed me fundamentally: Peter Thiel's Zero To One, Kamal Ravikant's Love Yourself Like Your Life Depended On It, Nikola Tesla's My Inventions, Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic, James Altucher's Choose Yourself and a bunch of writing podcasts. But the thing about this approach is that you can finally give yourself the time to learn whatever you want. I spent about 9 months learning what I wanted, EVERY DAY. And I was paid for it. I did the deliveries, of course, but most of my day was spent inside my car, listening and learning. I wasn't sure exactly what path my life was to take but I began to realize a few things about myself: 1. I LOVE to learn 2. My primary subjects are: creative expression, science and connection to others 3. Each day must be different and cannot include living in a cubicle.

While doing this driving job, I found out who I was and what was important to me. I laid down a foundation first. This is essential. You must also lay down a foundation and decide those things that are UNACCEPTABLE to you. Then craft a design that is acceptable, slowly moving towards that. My driving job was not what I wanted ultimately, but it was a step towards learning, which was essential for me figuring out the next steps. This thing you want, might be a series of steps. It usually is....

Thanks for the insight into your journey Stellabella - laying down a foundation & 'finding out what is important to ME' - is an essential aspect and worth making the time and effort

Yes, without that, there is no foundation for happiness actually.

Dear Secret Writer,

Firstly, I commend you for recognizing that your job is no longer fulfilling and that you want to make a change in your life. And please take my comments as constructive criticism, with my best intentions. But I will be honest in my responses, as I think you need to hear a few items of truth.

Your solutions are band-aid approaches and do not solve the major issue. The fact is that you no longer enjoy your job and it's not fulfilling you in any meaningful way.

So, in order to solve this big issue you need to ask yourself the hard question: what do you like doing? I never heard you answer that question in your story. All of those extraneous things like "finding the happy moments", etc, come out of living a fulfilling life. They are not moments that have to be injected artificially into a life that has dulled your senses.

Who am I to speak with authority? I know because it took the better part of 5 years for me to finally cast off all of my senseless 9-5 jobs and get serious about who I was and what I was naturally good at. I also wrote a book about this process.

The process of casting off fake work personas and getting really serious about finding out what you want in life is not an easy process. It's grueling actually. There's nothing fun about it. There are no daisies, no fun moments. It's full of pain, suffering and lots of well, more pain.

I managed to write a book while I had a full-time job. I forced myself out of fear, to get something accomplished while I still had a job.

Nowhere in your story do I hear you say what you want to do. You need to start working on something that you enjoy. If you don't yet know what you like to do, I suggest you join a group like Choose Yourself, a group run by James Altucher. That group helped me focus in on becoming my true self, not the one that showed up to my soul-sucking job every day. The people in that group are supportive and they help each other, for the most part. But it will be up to you to decide what it is to generate happiness within you. Until you start getting specific, nothing much will change. But you're at the point of recognizing that something is wrong. This is the first step. You're in the beginning. What you do next, well, we will be waiting for that.

Yeah right, we need to work more focused, so you can get what aspired

Thank you yet again @stellabelle for your insightful and thoughtful contributions to the Steemit community. I, for one, love reading your Secret Writer column, and all your other innovative and encouraging posts to others and for the future direction of this platform.
If I may be so bold to ask, and only if you are happy to do so, what is the title of your book? I would love to read it.

I realized the other day that I am not saving lives, not contributing to anything meaningful, but I am at my job day to day, hitting the grind just to survive, selling my soul. Sound familiar?

This was very familiar when I worked as a dishwasher at a local pizza place. My job was literally making it look like nothing had been done and looked exactly the way it did when I started my shift. Not a very rewarding feeling.

But surrounding myself with people that aren't complaining about their lives, but are looking to make their own luck through hard work, is what has helped me move on.

Steemit is full of people that are willing to work hard to get where they want to go (and also some that whine and complain at the platform instead of using their low success as fuel to work harder).

I've met more influential people here in one month than in my entire life. I wish steemit had been around before facebook, because I feel I have wasted a lot of time there (and also spent some doing worthwhile things). I'm just glad to be able to help people succeed here and grow myself.

Simply and efficiently! Almost genius. I made my choice 5-6 years ago. I did exactly what you write. It was hard, damn hard. It was scary! But then it was natural to live without suffering from the meaninglessness of my existence.
When life knocks the props out from under my feet, I realize something. It was not the prop. It was an illusion. And so I go through the flow of life and changed one illusion for another. And each new illusion is more cool and more attractive, and more durable.But they will all be destroyed in one day.
Honestly, I don't understand a world view in which there is no God. For me, it exists. As real as you are. And even more real than you. Because God helps me and supports me every day, every minute. And he loves me for who I am.
I often hear something like: well, show me God. It is not visible-so it does not exist.
And then I said: OK, show me your brain. By this logic, it is also not exist.
In General, I really like this post and I will gladly vote for him. Thank you!
I've always been very cynical person. But now I feel that life is a miracle!

Work to live or live to work?!?!

Said all right but "is easier said than done")).
Need to find the strength for trust in yourself, keep positive and make the time to be happy. Thanks for intrinsic motivation.)

Congratulations on your realization @stellabelle and the fortitude to do something about it... Cheers, on your journey to happiness!

This is not my journey. This was a secret emailed to me by an anonymous source.
I left my 9-5 wage slave jobs over 4 months ago.

Apologies... I guess my congratulations is 4 months late. CHEERS!

These points covered are easier said than done. Sadly I know that first hand.

Thanks for sharing these "secret writer" articles - it's always good to read other people's perspective s, even if they're similar to your own. (I love steemit for the vast variety of perspectives offered. Well, that's one reason I love it anyway.

Sometimes it is so much easier to tell the truth when it is separated from your real identity.

That exchange we had yesterday, and this post make me want to write up about Rum Diary, The Fear (of the sack), and what people usually do to fix their lot in life.
So I'll probably scamper off and do it.

Normally, I would sit on it for a couple of weeks, and then it would go nowhere, but same as this person, and a lot of other steemians, I am using this platform to become better. Perhaps when I am old and grizzled (or whatever is the measure after you get to read lectures) I'll be able to read "Turning your life around for fun and profit 101". :-D

Secret-writer: I left my job in Silicon Valley 10 years ago. I gave up most my material things except my bike. I went to spend time with my parents, my stepfather died a few months later I will always cherish that time. You may have a family but there are still ways to cut out the unnecessary stuff. My old landlord left his professional career and got a job at Home Depot while transitioning. It's really an action plan that needs to happen that will get you the changes you want. I wish you the best!

Oh ... it is familiar. In fact, we spend our lives just to make money. And live when? The whole life becomes a routine. It kills in man and its potential development. This should not be! Truly, only a humans pays to live. I heard that in Sweden introduced a 6 hour working day, for the WELFARE OF PEOPLE, so that they have time and their business interests and engage. But with whom need to take an example!

Hey @stellabelle, thanks for sharing these life stories. I really appreciate how you post daily stuff we all quite experience in a way but nobody really posts about! Check my newest post if you'd like;-)

sorry I am late coment