This is an anonymous submission from my Secret Writer account in Medium. I contacted the writer to get permission to post here on Steemit. I will be sharing any rewards that accrue with this writer.
Here is the real letter the Secret Writer received from the Secret Writer's father. The goal was to relieve the pain and suffering of the Secret Writer:
"As a grown woman, what is it like getting a loving letter from your father? I would not know. You see, I have not spoken to mine in probably 16 years. I made the decision based on the years of abuse I suffered growing up in a Narcissist’s house of terror with my self-absorbed mother and demented father who took great pleasure in destroying all that made me a compassionate human being. When you decide to go no contact with a parent with a personality disorder, be prepared for anything. It could come at any time. Years going by do little to soften the blow you feel when you open a mysterious letter only to find out you made a mistake. And like a train wreck, you cannot look away.
Here’s the fucked up letter I received from my dad:
Before I leave this planet, I want to be sure you know the reasons for my extreme disgust and hatred I have towards you and lily livered, no pun intended, X, who does not have the balls to accommodate you and your children in decent housing. It pains me that you are living in my house, which I struggled to improve. The house is now probably destroyed and by legal trickery……you and your mother stole my heirlooms.
You are a spoiled, devious, manipulative, selfish, ungrateful psychotic mess.
In your later days, you will regret all the terrible unhappiness you caused me after we spent roughly $500,000 on your upbringing…college, maintenance, cars and travel, etc. You ruined vacations because of your attitude and just plain mean selfish demeanor. Especially our trip to the UK and Holland, where I wanted to spend some time wandering in our former estate. All you did was take, take, take. How I could not even look forward to special holidays like Xmas knowing greedy gut Secret Writer.
Your mother and you were always fighting because your mother hated the fact that you were the better and more successful artist. Your mother bought that junky Fiat sports car that you had to have or a Secret Writer tantrum would result. I also said no to the nose job, but mother again went behind my back and you got your way. Time after time when I said no to an unnecessary or needless expense, you had to get what you wanted. Meanwhile your mother was not making payments on a $10,000 loan from Mary. You both spent more than five thousand dollars on a trip to Spoleto, Italy because you had a book entered to be admired.
Your mother spent my inheritance like water. I had to fight to be allowed to see where the money was going. Your mother was spending money like water. $15,000 on her art business….and she was too proud to run around to galleries to show her work.
By the way, we had to sell Henry by Hockney to pay for the trip back East since you had to go to see a special art school for your career. Henry was sold for the same $3700 we paid for it while it had gone up considerably in value….due to Lorinna’s being sucker bait among her fellow teachers at community college. The same sucker bait teacher who sold you the $1700 junk Fiat you had to have and then suddenly demanded a new car, when the Fiat broke down as I had predicted. At the new car dealer, I said, no, we can’t afford it. Lorinna said yes and you of course go the car after another tantrum.
It was embarrassing that everyone knew you married X for his money. I didn’t want to be in the overly expensive and show off wedding.
I cringed at having to walk you down the aisle.
We were broke, but your mother invited all the members of my family to my added embarrassment.
X and X were not seated at the head table with her own brother. X was invited even though he had just screwed me out of $4,000. I had to pay because Lorinna had made a door for someone and had neglected to include the cost of installation….plus she never paid the sales tax of $1,500 which opened us up for an audit. I could not afford to pay X from my business account, but I did anyway to save face.
The stupid girl Lorinna hired to work for me, once again, behind my back or my approval, did not file delivery receipts for goods we had delivered and I could not prove delivery……so I did not get paid for over many thousands of dollars.
I will not see you or your mother again, but I wanted you to know how you and your mother ruined my life. You are all of the above and I ended up a three bedroom hospital, in diapers and miserably depressed. Thank you guys….are you satisfied being thieves and bastards. I hope every day that I will not see the next day.
DAD
P.S. Your nose job was a failure and I could hardly believe how distorted your face appeared on your Facebook."
-Secret Writer
I suggest there are two victims in this situation. All families go through life's turmoils. One victim is the father, simply because he doesn't know how to properly deal with things. One victim is the daughter, who had to watch this happen. Out of the two of them, I think the daughter will be okay. After all, she deliberately allowed 16 years to pass without seeing her father. The father on the other hand, feels cheated, and needs counselling, and I doubt he will get any.
Rather than go out this way (hospital bed, diapers, wishing he dies), he would have done better to read my post that talks about karma:
https://steemit.com/life/@intelliguy/is-karma-and-being-kind-and-thoughtful-to-others-really-that-important
His cringing and hatred he carried with him towards his daughter brought him exactly where he needed to end up. He got what he deserved by earning a lot of bad karma. You think he would have discovered it?
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yes. I too have thought a lot on this topic. A parent has an almost sacred duty not to destroy those who he or she creates. This is self-murder, actually. When we look at the world, we must acknowledge that a big percentage of it is composed of damaged souls. How we make a world worth living in is empathy. Without empathy, we get the current status quo, which is terrible on many levels.
I struggle with self-love and acceptance like many people. But, in order to get that resolved, I must have financial independence so that I am free to create and exist within my talents. I must have financial freedom. I do believe in the hierarchy of needs, but I also know that sociopathy exists within our species. There is no cure for sociopathy, since the sociopaths never see anything wrong with them. Much of our culture is based on a sociopathic element. After so much exposure, the culture at large begins to think that such behavior is normal. Abuse becomes systematic, normalized. The sheer number of kids who are neglected or abused by their parents in America is staggering. I've witnessed this in my own communities.
We all must take a look at ourselves and decide what kind of life we want. If we are damaged (most of us), we have to endure the long and painful process of de-programming our minds. Karma doesn't mean shit when you're in pain, suffering, wilting. I know this pretty intimately. Only radical desire for truth and then a fierce pursuit of self-love will lead you to EVEN WANTING TO DO KARMIC STUFF.
Dark times are receding, but I will never forget what it's like. I have committed myself to helping people, because that is the world I want. People have helped me recently and I've been a bit lucky. I want to pass that luck on, and compound the feelings of progress.
Good article on Karma....
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I agree when you say we have to de-program our minds, it is a very long process, often a continuing effort throughout our entire life. Just to clarify how I personally feel, karma isn't something that is strived for.. it happens naturally. If your goal for helping people is to gain karma, you've already failed. If your goal is to geniunely help people, because that's really the right thing to do.. the byproduct is good karma. :)
Good job. I look forward to reading more from you and your secret sharers..
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Always by-product.
Thanks for your feedback 🎂
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This is heartbreaking! It makes me realize how fortunate I am to have a father who has supported me and been an example to follow. He is kind and loves to help others and always has a story to share. Your Dad is a poor excuse for what encompasses the term father. What he said was so hateful and hurtful it will have left deep emotional scars. What he said should never be said to another human being, and he did this to hi own daughter? That disgusts me and that he would take the time to write that out is mind boggling. As humans we all make mistakes, but I have made some foolish financial decisions and was dishonest with my father. It hurt our relationship, but never his love for me. I worked to regain his trust and repair our relationship as father and soon. I have such respect for my father and I hope that you will someday be able to look past what he said and realize that you deserve respect. I would understand if that was the last correspondence you ever had with your father.
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yes, it was devastating when i first read this person's secret. I am so lucky i see.
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good
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nice
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good luck and god bless you
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Thanks I will pass that on
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Maybe best to keep titles SFW? Upvoted anyway.
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Write it like F&^*% instead of "Fucked"? I can certainly change it. I wasn't sure
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Thanks Smooth. I appreciate your wallet.
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fuck them all
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Jesus. I haven't spoken to my father in over a decade, and I actually don't remember the last time I saw him. When my mother died in 2012, he called and left me a voicemail, but I never returned the call. Most of my friends have good relationships with their fathers, and it always makes me a little jealous. I could call my dad, I guess, but even though there's no hatred that I'm aware of, I just never really liked him as a person. This is something I wrestle with regularly.
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Oh how terrible. I've often wondered what happens to poor sad adult parents. It's never discussed...
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Should be - but nix the word "poor." They reap what they sow.
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