Burn your demons (feat @paa as author)

Hi friends, fellow authors, Steemians! Here´s knozaki2015. This is a Multi-Language Feature in German (original) , English, French and Spanish!

Today, I'd like to introduce you to a new blog of my friends @paa. They are two brothers from Germany and they write about people. People are awesome and that's what their blog is about.

They noted that there are many people out there having amazing stories to tell. Stories about experiences worth being told and shared. Stories about people with strong personalities, unique experiences and true events. Touching stories, by and with people who are an inspiration. About people who dared to be different. And these stories they want to tell you.

Let their stories be an inspiration for you to be different. Being different does not mean not being part of the community. Being different means being comfortable with what you do, no matter what the 'masses' might think.

People are awesome! Every one of us!

And that's what their first story is about: It is a story about someone who has been a friend of them for a long time. I will be referring him as 'Phoenix'. He dared to be different and he has had to learn what that means over the years.

How fire changed my life

(a story about pain, suffering and a phoenix from the ashes)

Ever since I can remember, I have felt that there was something different about me. I thought differently, I acted differently, I spoke differently. And thus, I have encountered lots of resistance throughout my life. At first I did not realize that it was me who was being different. For me, all the others were the nerds.

I realized that all at a way later point of my life, when I was old enough to understand what had happened.

It was in the kindergarten when I noted that 'being different' issue for the first time.
At the age of six, I was very much into wearing costumes. I wanted to dress up anytime, anywhere, on any occasion. Preferably at the kindergarten. My grandma had even tailored a Superman cape for that.

One morning, it was my sixth birthday, I sneaked out of my room very early (I just could not sleep anymore). When I had a secret look into my presents, I could not believe my eyes. I found what I had desired most:

The red Power Ranger's costume! Of course, I was determined to wear this costume that day at the kindergarten. Which I did, and the consequences were fatal.

During the break, several children threw pebbles at me. One of the stones was slightly bigger than a golf ball. It hit me so hard that my mask broke into pieces and I got a laceration to the left temple. Shocked, crying and bleeding, I ran to the nursery nurse. She treated my wound and sent me home. Alone, without anyone to accompany me! When I arrived, I fell into my mother's arms, crying. I kept crying the whole night.

Of course, the other kids were held accountable for this. I was, however, no longer able to dress up when going to the kindergarten. The kids had assured me that I would instantly regret if I did so. After that experience, I did not want to go back there anymore.

I wondered how people could be so mean. Why they would throw stones at me. Just for wearing a costume.
The really bad thing was not even the wound I had suffered at my temple; it was the wounds that my heart had suffered. Kids can be freaking nasty. The older they become, the worse it gets. I had to experience that several more times while growing up.

During the last days of elementary school, I had only one friend in the whole class. My spot was in the middle of the class room, I was sitting alone and nobody was allowed to talk with me. My mother had to come to the school regularly. Only to hear what a no-good I was. Needless to say that my teacher was not able to cope with me at all.

At secondary school, several classmates caught me during the first break and threatened me. When I had dyed my shoulder-length hair red, they smeared chewing gum into it - and that was only one event of many. My satchel was stolen, hidden, thrown out of the window regularly. My bike was stolen or kicked to pieces. All of the Pokémon cards I had were stolen while I was attending sports classes. More than once, a bunch of kids waylaid and harassed me. My teacher wanted me to take Ritalin, assuming I was suffering from ADHD. During a class trip, every kid had a seat on the bus – except me. I had to decide between sitting in the aisle of the bus or finding someone who would share his/her seat with me.

At the age of 21, attending vocational school, things got so bad that I had to leave. It did not change much of my situation, but it gave me some time.

I believe that the only thing hampering me from doing something really stupid was my mother's love. A love as bright and warm as the sun, shining from her heart. Deeply sincere and honest.

The day that changed everything

After I had finished my vocational education, I was invited to take part in a mental training including a walk over fire by a friend's mother. She did not know of my experiences, but perhaps she suspected something. I had no idea what to think about this event, that's why I had very mixed feelings when going there.

There were about 20 people taking part in this event, which lasted the whole day. We were guided through several consecutive exercises. These exercises were meant to mentally prepare us for the walk over fire and to leave all our fears and inner injuries behind. We should be prepared to write a new chapter in the books of our lives.

The last exercise consisted of two parts: At first, we should tell another participant all of our radical experiences, talk about our fears and worries (you'll never believe, how easy that actually is!). After that profound conversation, we were asked to write everything on a piece of paper.

During the second part, we made a pile of wood, about two times two meters in size and ignited it. We were told to throw that piece of paper into the fire, one after the other.

I don't know why, but I was shaking. The heat of the fire hit my face, but I did not even realize that. I was focused entirely on that piece of paper. I did not feel or note what was happening around me. My gaze was empty. Everything I could think of was the hatred, the scorn, the suffering I had gone through. Everything combined in one tiny piece of paper. I threw that paper, which was filled up with all those emotions, into the flames.
Instantly, something very strange happened. I felt light. With each moment that passed a piece of the load I had been carrying for 15 years disappeared a bit more. Just like the paper.

To get over it all and leave everything behind, we should now do the walk over the blaze that had a temperature of up to 800 degrees Celsius. You have no idea how hot that really is - until you actually stand right in front of it. It was winter, around 6 degrees Celsius, and a shirt and jeans were all I needed to keep me warm.

The rise of the phoenix

All of us took off our shoes and stood around the hot embers. Our coach asked who wanted to be first and stared right into my eyes. I stepped forward, not saying anything. She took me by the hands and we went to the beginning of the path. Standing behind me, she put her hands on my shoulders and whispered 'leave it behind!'. Then she let go of me. In this second, the past 15 years came up to me. Anger rose up in me in an instant. The anger related to the people who had done all of these horrible things to me. Suddenly, I was hell-bent. There rose an urge to leave everything behind forever. With all my heart, I wanted to start over.

The night is darkest before dawn

But I was frozen. My strong emotions, my anger, paralyzed me. I could not move. I had no command over my body. I was hesitating. Afraid. What if it all would not stop? If such nasty things would continue to happen?
Suddenly, I heard a voice in my head, asking me 'How bad to you want it? Do you really want to start a new life?'. And with all of my strength I yelled 'Yes, I do!'.

All of a sudden, my body started moving. I started walking. I did not notice the hot embers underneath my bare feet. No pain in this world would have kept me away from that. I was in a tunnel. Focused on the end of the path only, focused on the new chapter of my life. I did no longer hesitate. And with a last big move, I stepped into my new life.
I was infused with bliss. I realized that I had made it! Awesome! Soon, the others came up to me to congratulate. I was in ecstasy for the next 30 minutes. My chest was swollen with proud, I had never experienced that before. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger would have envied me. My self-confidence went straight through the roof. As if I had won the world championship in soccer. An hour after my walk over the embers, I realized what had actually happened. I still could not believe it, though. Another two hours later I snuggled up into my bed. I stayed awake for quite a while, but I can tell you one thing: I have never slept as well as I did that night.

Within six months after this special experience, I completely changed my life..

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Attention: This post has been written by @paa

@knozaki2015 features authors and artist to promote them and a diversity of content. https://steemit.chat/channel/academy (if you want to get in touch)

The author will receive 100% of the STEEM Dollars from this post

Don't just follow me, follow the author as well, if you like this post @paa