I have realised how trying to stop a pattern of behaviour can actually have the opposite effect of keeping me in the pattern, because when I try to stop doing something within myself I create the exact thing I am trying to stop - I have seen how this process of redefining words needs to be so specific; recently I was looking at the word comparison, I was forgiving moments where I would go into comparison, and yet the comparison continued, creating an endless loop of comparing myself to others and becoming frustrated. “Why is this not stopping?” I spoke with a friend and explained my predicament, and in that moment she said “why don’t you live the word focus?” Ah yes, each time I experience myself looking at another being better or worse than me I immediately see the word focus inside of me and I place myself here as me being the main focus. This worked, and from here I can then look in complete practicality of why I am still looking outside of myself to define myself by another and what they are doing or how they look.
I commit myself to make myself the main focus in this life, in that be present in all that I do and stop comparing myself to others, I see realise and understand how everyone is a unique expression of themselves and by me trying to keep up
with and compete them will always lead to frustration and is an impossible task and within this I see realise and understand how I have lost myself, my own focus of myself and what I am actually capable of in this life. 