Calling Everyone, Both Bearded and Bare Chinned! Why Grow Facial Fur? This is a very personal view!

Limerick by Dee:

There was a young guy with a beard,
Who suddenly felt very weird,
He hid in his man cave
To tackle a clean shave
Till, chin first, he emerged and folk cheered.

The Grossness of a Beard

(Picture source: Pixabay)

Beards are everywhere these days. Yes, it’s fashionable to grow a beard but does anyone REALLY like them?

My Gripe With Beards:

Of course, some people wear beards for religious reasons and I have no gripe with them. Some people need them for warmth when, say, they explore the Arctic. I have no gripe with them. Some people wear a beard to gain respect in their communities. This archaic idea wouldn’t make me respect them but I don’t have a gripe with it unless they are trying to intimidate others. Then it’s just pathetic behaviour.

It’s hard to argue with Movember too. Raising money for charity is applaudable in most circumstances. Growing hair as a symbol of the hair loss in cancer patients is a cool idea. Good on the growers but, please remember, it’s only for one month!

Here’s my gripe: why do otherwise hot, hunky, skinny, plain, striking, ugly, drop-dead gorgeous, knockout, disagreeable, hideous or tasty guys worsen their fanciability by hiding under the facial fur?

Why Beards:

Men have little control over when the beard starts to grow. It’s our old friend the hormone testosterone that muscles in usually when a guy becomes a teenager.

Wikipedia maintains that the beard,
‘is a vestigial trait from a time when humans had hair on their face and entire body like the hair on gorilla’.

Something like this caveman:

(Picture source: Flickr)

Well, okay, so that’s where the beard came from.

We’ve all noticed, I reckon, that most men are furrier than most women. Charles Darwin, the great evolutionist, had a theory about why beards now grow thick and strong on many men. Christopher Oldstone-Moore explains in his article ‘Survival of the Scruffiest’,

‘Darwin assigned the human beard to the category of ornament, and imagined that it had the power to attract women. Over the millennia, the theory goes, bearded men were more successful in procreation than their smoother competitors, and the human beard evolved into its present form. In short, men now have beards because our prehistoric female ancestors liked them.’
(Charles Darwin and the evolutionary mystery of the beard. By Christopher Oldstone-Moore, 14/12/2015)

Darwin obviously followed his own advice. Look at his beard in the photo below.

(Picture source: Wikimedia Commons)

So maybe that’s where it all started. Men thought they looked sexier in a beard.

My Personal View:

My dislike of beards started when I was a little girl. I saw a Mr. Twit look-alike eating a cream cake. For those who don’t know, Mr. Twit is a character in Roald Dahl’s book ‘The Twits’.

Mr. Twit

(Picture source: Flickr)

The picture above shows how gunge is trapped by a beard. But back to what I saw as a child. I saw this bearded man take out a tissue and massage the cream cake debris into his beard! Imagine the stink as it decomposed in the beard! I have never forgotten it, to this day!

Just think about the beard-smell if the wearer is a smoker!

When I was a teenager I often wondered what it would be like to be kissed by a bearded guy. Would I like it or pull away in shock?

Then it happened at a party. It was kinda okay. It wasn’t scatchy like stubble. This particular guy had trimmed his beard from his lips so that probably made a difference. But, all in all, give me a clean shaved kisser any day.

So what do you think guys and gals? I’d be so interested in your comments.