Is Everything We Know About Sex a Lie?

I started reading The Ethical Slut today.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ethical_Slut

Why is Intimacy Taboo?

It is refreshing to read a frank discussion of sex that isn't erotic in nature. Sometimes it can feel hard to learn about sex and sexual psychology because the topic can raise so many intense feelings, good bad or otherwise, that just kind of pull the mind into a weird non-analytical state.

Thinking about sex is stressful, if only because of the society I grew up in. We are taught not to discuss such things - that sex and discussions about sex are vulgar.

I remember my dad giving me the "birds and the bees" type talk and it being the absolute most awkward moment of either of our lives -- but why? How is this topic so taboo, so "uncomfortable" in most circles, despite being an absolutely basic element of human existence? How can a thing that most everybody deals with all of the time, either actively or through its absence, possibly be taboo?

There are times and places where discussions about sex are not appropriate - DUH. But in casual, adult situations - where all those present consent to such discussion - how can it be seen as vulgar?

It doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

Asexuality and Polyamory

I was first introduced to some of the new concepts of sexuality through a good, if somewhat flawed book, called The Invisible Orientation. It's about the emerging idea of asexuality, people who are perfectly happy to rarely/never have sex.

My first opportunity to have sex was in college, when I was 18, with a girl I'd been seeing for several weeks and really liked. We were in bed together fooling around, she wanted to go all the way. I turned it down, and returned to celibacy for several more years...

So this book was a pretty helpful thing to understand myself more.

For me, the idea of not relying on sex as some kind of crutch or emotional necessity was a revelation. Relationships, including emotionally and physically intimate ones, do not have to revolve around or even include sex.

...trust me! :-)

Monogamy For Life: A Myth?

The idea of most happy couples living lifelong monogamous relationships is sounding very far-fetched for me now. How many happy couples "go the distance" of a 50+ year relationship without eventually loosening up the monogamy? How many seemingly monogamous couples are just being quiet about their polyamorous activities?

Who knows. I'm going to keep reading. After this book, I have been recommended to read Sex at Dawn by Chris Ryan next. Do you have other suggestions?