How i lost my virginity

I was visiting my friend at GWU over spring break my sophomore year of college and made out with this dude at a ZBT party. While stuffing my face with mozz sticks at my friend's place afterwards, the ZBT kid hit me up and asked what I was doing. "Eating mozz sticks" I said. "Come over," he said.

I walked into his FILTHY apartment and stepped over his roommate's dirty laundry to get to ZBT kid's room, which was as disgusting and covered with trash as the rest of the house. I didn't really want to have sex because I was hooking up with someone at school, but ZBT kid convinced me. I asked him where I could throw out my gum. He said anywhere, so I literally spit it out on the floor. We listened to "Drunk in Love" while he deflowered me, and then we smoked oil using the fire from his stove because he didn't have a lighter.

Here comes the real kicker: Two years later, he messaged me on Facebook to apologize for taking my virginity. He was sent to rehab for a coke addiction and was going through the 12-step program and was at the stage where he repented for his sins. He said I should've lost my virginity to someone I was in love with. "Nah dude, losing my virginity was the best thing that ever happened to me," I said. Fin.