The art of sex part 1: A few tricks to get started

So you want to have better sex, and become a world-class lover! This is a long journey, you have to learn and practice a lot, but the first steps are relatively easy. Here I show you a few basic tricks, and I try to put them in context so it is worth reading even if you are familiar with them already.

// Image source: bubulina65 on pixabay (public domain)

#1 Don’t be in a hurry

Orgasm releases tension. There is some tension at the beginning of the sex act (that’s why you are doing it), but if you want to give a brutal orgasm to your partner, you have to build the tension before. The same applies to your own orgasm too. Slow down! Don’t go to the next stage of the act too early! Reduce the force you are using! Switch to another technique! Pull out and wait! Spice up your technique with a bit of unpredictability! (I will write about these techniques in detail)

Another important consideration is that sex is not just the orgasm. You have to optimise for the full sex act, get the best out from every stage. This takes time, but if you do it properly, the tension will also be maxed.

But be careful, do not push it too far! If you have reached a point of no return, then go forward! It is especially important when your partner goes: If you are not sure you can stop her orgasm lightly, do not try it! I will explain a pumping technique which you can use to give her minutes-long deep orgasms, but first you have to learn to read her body signs. 

#2 Learn with your hands

Handwork is the root of everything, because you get a lot of feedback while doing it. You can watch her body and face, you can listen to her breath, and you can really focus on her, process this information, because you are not stimulated.

People are different. The pressure which is too much for one, will not be enough for the other. You have to study your partner, learn how she feels your touch, how she reacts to different techniques, and her signs of progress towards the orgasm.

You want to know her progress exactly, because that is the base of your strategic decisions. 

#3 Ask

Good questions are the sign of your care. Don’t be shy to ask, it does not mean that you are amateur. No, it means you are a professional with missing information. You need the information, so get it by simple questions.

Ask what she wants. Ask if she enjoys what you are doing. You can distract her 1-2 times per act with this question, it will pay off. Ask if the force is not too much. After the act ask if she wants you to do something differently next time. These are questions about your partner, not about sex in general, so the easiest way to get them is asking. Note that the question “Was it good?” is not on the list.

This post is part of my “Art of Love” series. I will explore topics like male multi-orgasm, principles of touching,  hand/tongue/hip techniques, improvisation, tools, drugs and so on.

Thank you for reading this post! If you have enjoyed it, follow me: @lumang