I became sexually active at 16 years old. When I picked a guy, it wasn’t because I was in love or I was craving a connection; I was curious and I penned him as the safest place to explore this curiosity.
From that time, I remained sexually active, obviously taking short breaks here and there but active for the most part; went on like that till I had my daughter at 28 years old.
For the 12 years of sexual activity my attitude to sex remained the same; just something to be had, maybe sometimes it could transform into something that resembles love, maybe it can be used to get emotions from people 😒. In summary, I didn’t see it as something that had any value beyond temporary rewards, I mean it’s sex!
You can’t blame me, I’m a Nigerian Christian with Christian parents, you are taught that sex is evil, sex is bad, especially as a woman, sex can destroy you. If people are sexually attracted to you, you should be ashamed. Yes, you need to have sex to bear children but you shouldn’t enjoy it or think about it too much or it would corrupt you.
Honestly, they have a point, sex can fuck up your life if you let it control you, you can literally die from diseases. But, information is dangerous without the wisdom of knowing when and how to apply it.
After I had my daughter, I was forced to confront the fact that sex is powerful. Sexual energy, sexual activity is literally a power that creates life, like actual physical life that can be touched and seen. I then realized that maybe I have been getting it wrong, maybe I was looking down on sex and not seeing it for the power house that it is.
As you know, energy cannot be created or destroyed, it is transformed from one form to another. It’s not random that when a teenager is coming into self awareness of adolescence it comes with a huge surge of sexual energy. A surge of sexual energy can be channelled into achieving self awareness or manifesting physical things.
After understanding this simple truth about the properties of sexual energy, I decided it’s time to be selfish. Since I was a teenager I have expended this energy on curiosity and fun. Now as an adult, I decided it was time to channel it into healing all of my hurt, into achieving self awareness and acceptance. Best believe it worked! When you see monks and priests in seminaries abstaining from sex to achieve higher levels of being, best believe they are not crazy.
Healing done, at least to a nicely balanced level; awareness and acceptance achieved; I am now using my sexual energy to manifest physical things and it’s working… when I say physical things I don’t mean I am literally having sex and collecting payment 🤣. I mean I am visualizing what I want and using my sexual energy to manifest it into my reality.
The same way you decide what to spend your money on, you decide what to spend your sexual energy on, you don’t have to use it to have literal physical sex, it is so much more. You don’t trap the sexual energy and pretend it’s not there. If you aren’t channelling it into your spirit, you need to be having physical sex, it is as simple as that.
So, in a nutshell, this is the reason I have stayed celibate for 21 months and counting. I am using my energy for my biggest project yet – Me! I feel free, I feel relaxed, I feel loved, I feel healed, I feel powerful. I genuinely feel that if trumpet blow today like this, I am awake and ready.
What next for me? Physical sex can be an addition or a subtraction, depending on who you have sex with. It can take money from you, it can give you money; it can take love from you or give you love, it can take peace from you or give you peace.
Like with every other aspect of life, what you intend is what you get. Not just intention, intention fortified with wisdom, understanding and grace. But it starts with intention. If you enter your sex life intending to use it as a tool to give and experience love, that is what it will be, that is the effect it will have on you. You may get the love, you may not get it, but the issue will be love. If you engage in sex for money, you may give it or you may receive it, you may miss out completely, but the issue will be money. When it comes to physical sex, set your intention. What will help you develop and evolve into your highest ideal? 💭
That being said, I wish myself luck and blessings in setting my ,intention. Power perhaps? I dunno …. seems logical.