I committed the sin of all sins. I looked up an old lover online. I found his instagram and saw that he is in a pretty hot and heavy relationship with a hot blonde number.

But this was not just any lover, and that was not just any blonde in the pic.

Some Context

He was, is still, hot as balls. And the sex was mind blowing. Some of the best sex I've ever had. I still fantasize about having a threesome with him and another woman. Something that never came to fruition, but was discussed during our 6 month tryst.

Since our official affair ended quite a few years ago, I have welcomed him into my bed a few times when he was in between relationships, or even a few times he needed a certain sexual fulfillment that his current girlfriend could not grant him.

So what? So now he has this other woman

He has always come back to me and I think that's why seeing him with this blonde got me so riled. You see, he often spoke of her when we would lay together after our sex sessions. Not often, but enough for me to remember that she was his ultimate goal, but also very unattainable.

He showed me her IG and I even had to admit she was hot. She was a dead ringer for Elicia Cuthbert, he told me. But also a friend of his sister's, so off limits. And then showed me the Weezer video that his fantasy blonde Cuthbert lookalike was in.

So why so upset?

I guess I realize that maybe he won't be coming back. Now that he has secured his ultimate fantasy why would he?

I can only hope she is terrible at head and won't sit on his face.