Power In Numbers

Hello, my name is Kerri. I have never been raped. I have not been sexually abused. I have consented to all of the sexual acts I have had the pleasure to participate in. I need to be open about this because I am certain I am part of a minority of women that can say such a thing.
I don't think we talk about sex enough, and we certainly don't talk about our sexual histories very often, but what we really don't discuss is how to overcome our sexual pasts and heal. I do believe I have had a sexual partner who in his past was sexually abused. He never told me that that was his experience but from his preferences, behaviour and friendships as time past, it seemed clear to me that he still suffered from this traumatic experience. Have I been intimate with someone who has raped? I don't know. I don't know if you can tell and I don't think they would ever tell. Very possibility they haven't even told themselves and the person they raped never told them. See how complicated it gets when no one is talking.
From the few conversations I have had with rape victims, there is a general feeling of confusion. About what happened, about their response, and about the emotions they hold about their rape as they reflect back on it. Have they been intimate again, yes and fallen madly in love, yes! They have had passion and pain, but then the memory rises and they don't know where to put it.
I have heard it described like a fridge magnet, it is there but it doesn't define you, but let's not talk about it. No one wants to hear. It is too uncomfortable.
We are sending out such mixed messages to women and so often they feel helpless and alone, left to sort through these memories and emotions by themselves. But they are the majority. We cannot let their voices be silent anymore.
I invite you to tell your stories and share your emotions about abuse in order to raise awareness of rape.