“Sex is a Sin.”
So, I finally did 90 days of noFap on semi-monk mode with occasional watching porn and really observing what goes on in my brain.
Strangely enough, I observed that it is not so much as an audio, video or erotica that had so much power over me that I had to reach for my balls as much as it was noticing the point at which I distinctly got turned on.
I guess, the case for Cindy Gallop's mlnp.tv is precisely this.. that the porn that we get to see is so unrealistic that it almost takes away the real joy of sex as being that exquisite thing that gets a hetero-sexual human couple going.
Moreover, I always maintain that the hardcore porn that we see is a direct result of extremely repressive semitic values that starts with the “temptation” of Eve in the garden of Eden and ends with the complete cover-up of the Goddess. (Hijab was necessary to protect women from the savage brutes in the deserts of Arabia when there were no GPS-enabled apps on Android!) There IS another narrative that does not necessarily view the naked woman's body (digital or otherwise) as something inherently destructive.
Human libido – the male rhythm:
1. The Build up
It takes about 9-10 days when we feel the fullness of our sacs. As the scrotum is filled with seminal fluid, there is a distinct feeling of an energy with its corresponding effects of a deepening voice, feeling energetic, etc.
2. Swimming
Between Day #9 and whatever-your-individual-rhythm is, there would be a choice of indulgence which can take various forms depending on your situation. From total abstinence to edging moderately to restricting only real world interaction (if you have a wife or girlfriend) to desperate cold-showers and swimming.
The idea is to appreciate the sexiness of women that is not just restricted to their V but something that is prevalent in every square inch of her body. Isn't that what it is supposed to be like, ladies??
3. Flipping the switch
At some point, the build up is strong enough that Gabbar Singh demands attention. This is where/when it is time to become aware of the various kinds of pleasure that is available. Instead of diving into pictures, sounds and videos, one must make a conscious choice – a real touch with a real woman, in the flesh and blood.
Now that technology enables us to make real-world connections, it is inevitable that people will decide to experiment with multiple partners in physical, emotional, intellectual, artistic and even a spiritual context that would lead to much richer individual experiences which is the evolutionary impulse in human beings now.
Sex to super consciousness becomes a real possibility but ONLY for those who choose the tantric aspect of bhakti guided by the Spirit of Zantrah. (to be explained at a future date..)
4. The Choice – not to ejaculate
It is hard to believe at first but orgasm need not be the most pleasurable thing! Instead of a few seconds of pelvic pulsations, the act of making love and really connecting with another human being is inherently more pleasurable than solo masturbation.
Religion and social mores had us believe that it happens with ONLY one human being and anything else is not normal.
"Are you telling me that you are STRAIGHT and I am CROOKED?"
Our sexual preferences can be as varied as our taste buds and choice of clothing. They may lead us to understand what is fundamentally human, to learn how to connect with another SOUL – that we are eventually immortal spirits, choosing various experiences through a human body.
5. Finding “Amritah” or “Amy” or “the One..”
This requires a more individual treatment and the next phase of my sexual expression is to understand the psycho-spiritual basis of romantic sex and human ego/identity. After more than 8 years of marriage, I have realized that my emotional body is quite different from my partner. Her mental body is much more active!!
This is when/where we have to appreciate the presence of the partner as Something Divine and a conscious awakening of the kundalini becomes necessary.