Exploring Sexual Energy: Orgasm and Ejaculation are Not the Same

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Sexuality is a subject that just isn’t talked about enough. Sure, there are overwhelming amounts of sexual advertising and it is a recurring subject in conversation, but within limited layers of understanding that ignore the holistic experience sex is.

To most, sex is a physical and emotional experience but it can also be a spiritual and energetic one. My first approach to sexuality as a means of inner growth was through the book “The Multi-Orgasmic Man” by Mantak Chia and Douglas Abram.

While reading it, I learned about the importance of holding back ejaculation as much energy is needed to produce it. I also learned that sexual energy could be channeled and moved to other parts of the body for storage.

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This was years ago and during that time I practiced the teachings from the book in a very consistent and disciplined manner. Over the years I’ve begin to relax a bit and this has led me to poor management of my sexual energy.

To counter this, and as part of my intention of synchronizing my Steem posts with the aspects of my life I want to work on, I’ve decided to begin a series that analyzes, comments and reports experiences related to sexual energy and spiritual development through this.

For the moment being I will read one page each week of “The Multi-Orgasmic Man” and comment with you what I get from it, which aspects it incites me to work on and the experiences I get from the practice.

It would be nice if those interested also participated through comments or their own posts. Perhaps we can form some sort of study group and help each other as there are many difficulties to this kind of practice.

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One of the hard things is to actually grasp the concepts as they can be quite intangible. Also the slow progress tends make perseverance wither in time. Having a little organization and community support might help to overcome these issues or at least make them easier to handle.

Also, it can be an overload of information so a little weekly advancement can be a more solid approach than trying to take it all at once.

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Ok, that was a long intro, let's get to it. I’ve cut out some phrases to shorten the paragraphs as much as possible while respecting the main ideas and important points:

You may already have experienced multiple orgasms. Surprising as this may sound, many men are multi-orgasmic before they enter adolescence and begin to ejaculate. Kinsey’s research suggested that more than half of all preadolescent boys were able to reach a second orgasm within a short period of time and nearly a third were able to achieve five or more orgasms one after the other. This led Kinsey to argue that "climax is clearly possible without ejaculation."

But multiple orgasms are not just limited to prepubescent boys. Kinsey continues: "There are older males, even in their thirties and older, who are able to equal this performance." In Fundamentals of Human Sexuality, Dr. Herant Katchadourian adds: "Some men are able to inhibit the emission of semen while they experience the orgasmic contractions: in other words they have nonejaculatory orgasms. Such orgasms do not seem to be followed by a refractory period (loss of erection), thereby allowing these men to have consecutive or multiple orgasms like women.

These first paragraphs I can get behind. I remember the first orgasm I consciously experienced was while taking a bath. I remember at one moment I accidentally passed the shower head over my penis. It felt very good and couldn’t stop doing it. The feeling got more and more intense until I had a huge orgasm, but there was no ejaculation. Actually my first ejaculations started when I begin to masturbate to erotic content, but before that I had many orgasms that didn’t involve this.

After practicing seminal retention for some years I was able to have orgasms without ejaculation. However I still have a refractory period which tells me there is probably something I am missing.

Since orgasm and ejaculation generally occur within seconds of one another, it is easy to confuse them.' To become multi-orgasmic, you must learn (or possibly relearn) the ability to separate the different sensations of arousal and to revel in orgasm without cresting over into ejaculation. Understanding how orgasm and ejaculation are different will help you distinguish the two in your own body.

I recently talked to a friend about this and his answer was that ejaculation was necessary because you “had” to release something in orgasm. I don’t know who decided that there was any particular way to deal with our sexual lives but it seems that the idea of ejaculation being a necessity is very rooted in the mainstream culture.

After noting that "orgasm is the least understood of the sexual processes," the thirteenth edition of Smith's General Urology explains that orgasm includes "involuntary rhythmic contractions of the anal sphincter, hyperventilation (increased breathing rate), tachycardia (increased heart rate), and elevation of blood pressure."

In the West, William Reich, in his controversial book The Function of Orgasm, was the first to argue that orgasm involved the whole body and not just the genitals. In the East, the Taoists have long known that orgasm could be a whole-body experience and developed techniques for expanding orgasmic pleasure.

This is one of the hardest parts of this kind of practice, at least for me. Once you start getting the hang of separating orgasm from ejaculation, the energy and pleasure still remain concentrated heavily in the genitals. Breathwork helps with this but there are many different techniques and sometimes they are not easy to grasp.

Many sex researchers are now arguing that orgasm really has more to do with our brain than our brawn. Brain-wave research is beginning to reveal that orgasm may occur primarily in the brain. That you can have an orgasm in your sleep – without any bodily touch – seems to confirm this theory. Further support comes from neurologist Robert J. Heath of Tulane University, who discovered that when certain parts of the brain are stimulated with electrodes they produce sexual pleasure identical to that produced by physical stimulation.

Unlike orgasm, which is a peak emotional and physical experience, ejaculation is simply a reflex that occurs at the base of the spine and results in the ejection of semen. Michael Winn, senior Healing Tao instructor and coauthor of Taoist Secrets of Lowe: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy, explains: "A lot of men are freaked out by the very idea of nonejaculatory orgasm because they’ve been having ejaculatory sex for such a long time, often decades. So the first thing to do is demystify ejaculation, which is just an involuntary muscle spasm."

That’s the bulk of the first page of Mantak Chia and Douglas Abram’s “The Multi-orgasmic Man”. Sexual pleasure apparently goes way beyond the stroking of genitals and can exist even without any touch. If you close your eyes now and focus you should be able to summon at least some slight sexual pleasure. If you can’t, it would be good to ask yourself why as your sexual energy could be needing some attention.

I think the main idea we can rescue from here is that there is a difference between orgasm and ejaculation. To begin developing our sexuality to another level it’s necessary to deconstruct ideas like “it’s unhealthy not to ejaculate”, “you’ll get blue balls” or “ejaculation is the natural way to finish sex”.

I would really like to know your thoughts and experiences on this. I think when reading a book it is easy to misunderstand some things and those with more experience might have some first hand knowledge to help guide others who attempt to walk this path.

Have you ever had an non-ejaculatory orgasm?