What the left calls "gaslighting" is usually just a reflection of the fact that we are culturally disunited. Generally speaking, gaslighters are sincere, and it's their accusers who don't get it.
Of course we always have been culturally disunited. But lately we've seen much more contact among the different ways of thinking and living.
Kevin Hart's mildly annoyed question about Lil Nas X--"He said he was gay! So what?"--is frankly quite tame compared to at least half a dozen things I've seen on other social media just this week, up to and including solemn promises of eternal hellfire and vulgar comments about how utterly disgusting gay sex must be.
I think some people may have imagined that same-sex marriage would change everyone's mind somehow, but it hasn't happened that way. And there's no reason to think it should. Biology itself weighs strongly in favor of homophobia, at least in the mind of every homophobe. (And, yes, we're disunited about the propriety of that word. We all know how that conversation runs, so can we just not bother?)
I'd love it if coming out were a "So what?" moment. It's not. It probably won't be in any of our lifetimes. It's taking on a permanently stigmatized identity, one that the law does almost nothing to repair.