Tobacco Dreams (Sacred Valley, Peru 2017

The process started in the day of the ceremony. I fought through fields of mental resistance. It always seems before a tobacco ceremony the last thing I want to do is a tobacco ceremony. I have a friend whose life evolves around healing and serving sacred medicines. He says when you really do not want to do a medicine, it is time to do that medicine. So in my process, I shuffled up my inner will and strength and entered the ceremony.

Mappacho, Nicotina Rustica, grown, dried and large rolled leaves are hand compressed into large logs in places like the Ecuadorian Amazon. It has up to 9 times more nicotine than more common species of tobacco (Nicotina Tabacum). The healers that work with this plant in both America’s call it the grandfather plant whose strength is known through out the universe and in all dimensions. It’s energy is male, it is a protector – it is my alley.

In one of my first ayahuasca ceremonies, the grandmother ayahuasca spoke to me and said ‘If you give me tobacco, I will give you your health’.

For years upon years of my life I had smoked. People, including myself may know and understand the great power that this plant possesses… or maybe what is clear to most is the struggle with the addiction.

The plant’s power is that it carries our prayers to the Great Spirit. What we think, what we feel, who we are is our prayer. Our lives are our prayers. When people smoke unconsciously, fearing their lives, complaining about their days they bring these prayers into heaven and create more of what they are programming their lives for. To come into consciousness and respect for tobacco is working with the plant knowing it’s power and its gifts and being able to use these to pray, to connect and to heal. I am grateful to understand and experience the difference. To know the gifts and power of this plant is a blessing.

Tobacco is used many different ways consciously, there are many forms of ceremonies. Tobacco is smoked in pipes, rolled and smoked, made into snuffs, mixed with other plant medicines, made into a reduction called ambil, even used as enemas in the jungle. I find it interesting that all indigenous ayahausca ceremonies I have seen use the grandfather tobacco with the grandmother ayahausca. The tribes in the Amazon prepare a liquid to snort, the tribe in Brazil use a tobacco based snuff: dried and ground tobacco mixed with certain plants, and the Shipibo in Peru smoke rolled mapacho during their ceremonies. The American Indian story of the White Buffalo Women tells of when she came and taught the people how to use sacred tobacco. In an ayahuasca ceremony if one is having a strong process or heavy visions connecting with tobacco can bring change to all that and move the stuck energies. Tobacco is powerful.

There were two of us drinking tobacco today. I smelled the tobacco cooking with water on the stove. A candle was lit nearby. It simmered in water which was infused with sacred songs and prayers for a good ceremony. I was called to start the fire. I sat calling the grandfather fire and consecrating the space. My process was in my lap at the time. I am healing – my self esteem is growing day by day, my self love becoming me. The process is part of the act of releasing that which no longer serves our lives. I asked the fire to help me this evening because I did not want to drink tobacco but I knew that every tobacco ceremony that I have had a profound healing, a great transformation has occurred. I knew that I had to. I was in.

As the fire grew creating coals I sat waiting inside myself. My trust is complete for this medicine. My first ceremonies I was quite scared to drink tobacco, now it is different. It just is not the easiest experience, it can be strong.

My guide opened the ceremony and then poured my cup. It looked darker, stronger and heavier than I had seen it before. I sat with the cup in my hands for a few minutes and then I drank. I drank it quickly. Tobacco has never burned in my stomach before but today it did. It sat there burning and churning. I prayed for the vomit and as I embraced the energy of tobacco.

My body’s energetic field shook. It was as if the plant’s spirit giant hand reached deep into my body, shaking the stuck areas, speaking to me. I opened up to it. My stomach clenched, burned deeply and clenched again. I vomited a little. It is hard to explain the taste of tobacco, it definitely doesn’t taste like mangos. Heavy, earthy, strong, that is how I taste it.

About 15 minutes later I began to drink water. By the third glass I began to vomit. I had fasted since the early afternoon and water mixed with tobacco forcefully shot from my mouth. Soon it was over. The pain in my stomach was gone and I was just in the energy of tobacco. I rested and felt it moving through my body and then fell asleep to dream. After the first dream I woke up for a few minutes and sat with the Grandfather again and fell back asleep. Dreaming is part of tobacco ceremony.

In my second dream a nightmare came, a dark spirit. It had the same energy from a dream I had a few tobacco ceremonies back. Waking up from and pulling out of this dream was tough. My mouth tried to form the name of my friend who was drinking as well, I could not. I struggled to move to wake up, I felt this dark force breathing upon me. I sat up coming into the present moment. I asked my friend for a limpia and when it was over could still feel this energy connected to me. I prayed in tongues for a while and still felt some connection. I decided to dive in head on and connect with my freedom.

‘I think I should drink another cup of tobacco’. My friend smiled, and singing sacred songs poured me another cup. This cup was easier on the stomach, the Grandfather’s energy felt gentler, more kind. I vomited. Then I lay down letting the tobacco clear the connection that I had with this energy. I felt good. I slept.

This time when I slept I was shown freedom in my dreams, I saw how the negative energy had connected with me and saw myself breaking free from it. The dream also gave me words of wisdom. I woke up feeling relieved, like something was accomplished, I woke up with hope. Freedom.

The next morning when we closed the ceremony I stepped into life with a greater freedom, more grounded and carrying the wisdom and gifts of this Sacred Plant. Glad to have a deep connection with this plant.

In one of my first ayahuasca ceremonies, the grandmother ayahuasca spoke to me and said ‘If you give me tobacco, I will give you your health’.

I am so grateful that I did.