Shithole African Countries

As 2017 drew to a close with multiple Tweets, blunders and a variety of other actions that left us all scratching our heads under his belt, leader of the free world Donald J. Trump, a.k.a The gift that just keeps giving wasn’t quite done. Seemingly from being: “…a like genius” (his words not mine) and never wanting to be outdone, least of all by the lesser incarnation of greatness, his former self from perhaps five minutes ago, The Don, (as he is affectionately referred to – although I’m struggling to figure out by whom) felt it was necessary to pick up where he left off in 2017 by reaching into the deepest and darkest crevice of his golden temple of wisdom and bequeathing unto the world a nugget of such stupendous enlightened contemplation and essentially called Africa one massive steaming shithole.

As news of The Don’s latest faux pas rewrote the record books for the most hated/misunderstood individual on earth while also quite literally ripping a gaping hole into the time-space continuum and pissing off an entire continent in nanoseconds, The Don did what The Don does best… He doubled down. No apology, no retraction just the age old honoured practice; the political pivot. At this point I imagine the approaching shit-storm from what he had said hadn’t quite dawned on him or his staff. Contrary to what most Americans believe Africa isn’t just the world’s shit stain, as a continent we’ve had a few noteworthy achievements in years gone by. One of those achievements is the modern marvel and millennials’ favourite hang-out, the internet. But, not just any old internet, I’m talking about internet so fast that it should make Kellyanne Conway (Counsellor to the President) strongly consider staging an intervention for old Dj Trump and his inclination towards writing his thoughts down in 140 characters or less.

The political shit-storm which made landfall in the wake of Trump’s utterance was quite something to behold, a fitting way to usher in the new year to be honest. Ambassadors were summoned, dignitaries were summoned, Heads of (mostly African) States threw in their two cents as others distanced themselves from Trump’s description of large swathes of the African continent, the crescendo of righteous indignation climaxed until finally, cue the Social Justice Warriors (SJWs) and their arsenal of soft-soaked, worn out rhetoric and mindless excrement (their opinions) largely considered to be relevant by the professionally offended and bada-bing, bada-boom… Trump is racist!

I have toiled with how SJWs arrive at their conclusions ever since the collective noun for such people was coined. I sometimes wonder if the current state of affairs is a direct result of this new-age bullshit method of raising children, “Everybody gets a trophy for participating” or not. It would seem, at least on the face of it, that when a particular group of people are not being rewarded for absolute mediocrity and being dead average, it is reason enough to unleash the dogs of war along with some airy-fairy diatribe on unity and not hurting one another’s feelings. I call bullshit, that is absolute and utter horseshit!!!

Are there actually people out there that believe this crap? By the looks of things sharp-shooters that call things how they see them are in short supply. Look don’t get me wrong I’m not advocating going out of your way to be mean to people, far from it. I’m just saying you can get touched or catch feelings over Trump calling Africa a shithole but let’s take a step back, cast our emotions aside and call a spade a spade (and not a shovel). How often in our daily lives do we see somebody wearing something embarrassingly unflattering, then wonder to ourselves: “Doesn’t that person have anyone to tell them that, that outfit isn’t working?” In a weird and twisted sort of way I actually applaud Trump for his honesty, while I do not represent all black or African people, I can’t fault him for calling our continental situation as it is. No pretense, no coddling, no sugar-coat, nothing. Just his opinion.

This, by any stretch of the imagination, isn’t a blanket endorsement on Trump, his Presidency or his mental faculties (as others have taken it upon themselves to comment on these areas). I lack the in-depth knowledge it requires and the criteria with which an adequate representation such an opinion would encompass. As an African who wakes up daily recognising all the hope and promise that our beautiful continent has to offer, I can’t help but understand where he is coming from. Were his comments harsh? Yes. Could they have been worded better? You bet! One thing is for certain, he sure as shit isn’t wrong! If the world’s SJWs had an iota of honesty inside them they would see his utterance for what it really was, yet again I suspect these are the same people that are preoccupied with Instagram filters for the latest selfie they snapped at Starbucks while secretly wishing they could crop out the friend who is “totes” ruining their self-aggrandising trophy because they rather choose to spare the feelings of an entitled and emotionally fickle wreck.

Africans, more specifically Blacks… I’m going to get a few things off my chest about us right now so I hope you can remove the ego, the professional victimhood and hear me out for what I’m saying. This has been long overdue and I don’t see our situation changing until we internalise some cold harsh truths. When we’re perfectly honest with one another we know Africa is a shithole. We can blame “The White Man” as much as we like but at some point if we’re going to turn this ship around these things need to be said. We have failed dismally at adapting to the modern age, that may not be a scientific fact but when we look around it’s not hard to acknowledge.

A few years ago we (Black Twitter) chastised Steve Hofmeyer for doing the same thing that Trump has done. When Steve had Tweeted that Blacks were equally responsible for Apartheid we were quick to shred the man to pieces, then rip him a new one, all while ignoring our complicit role in our own demise. How about an apology from the Black representatives of that generation for allowing Apartheid to happen to begin with? I can confidently say that I would dedicate every breathe I take to abolishing a system that oppressed me from day 1! If it were somehow decided that Blacks were no longer welcome in say, Sandton. I will be the first to scroll down my entire contacts list on every conceivable platform to mobilise masses of Blacks in defiance of said decision, right from the jump. No peaceful resistance, no “yes baas, no baas” for me, you can f**k right off with that rubbish, end of discussion! If it costs my life then so be it, I can’t imagine a life of servitude being one worth living in any case.
Take some responsibility, damn it! Everything that happens in YOUR life can’t be because of some great conspiracy against you.

We then went on the most hypocritical tirade when Penny Sparrow posted on Facebook over the state in which OUR people left Margate main beach (not far from where my parents live – Shelly Beach) after Boxing and New Years Day. I was there this holiday and I can vouch for her. Take away her referring to Blacks as Monkeys and EVERYTHING about her post was bang on. After this festive season our people, Blacks, were strewn along the streets until the 4th of January alongside the copious amount of litter that they brought with them. It is an absolute disgrace, we ought to be ashamed that we haven’t spoken out about it ourselves. Instead we are constantly locked and loaded with our “Get Out of Jail Free” card – the word racist! No bullshit, we as a race find it difficult to criticise ourselves and when someone else steps in to open the floor to this long overdue conversation we berate, denigrate, and ruin their lives as if the fundamental issue they had never existed.

If Africa wasn’t a shithole then why is Europe faced with the migrant crisis that they currently have? If Africa was so great don’t you think sub-Saharan countries would accommodate the hordes of refugees? Africans aren’t fleeing south because they know it’s also shit! Let’s not kid ourselves by trying to deflect from our own shortcomings. As the migrant crisis in Europe unfolds and further diminishes anything of value touched by Blacks I think back to a debate I once had with a Black former schoolmate who said: “Pro, so do you really think if you took bus loads of Blacks and suddenly plonked them in Paris, or anywhere in Europe for that matter, would it not become rural?” I remember bursting into uncontrollable laughter as the image of Louis Vuitton shops being overrun by Blacks and the inevitable dilapidation that would ensue because of how preposterous what he was suggesting was. How would they even get there? I thought. Surely they would need places to stay? I took cultural integration and assimilation for granted, not realising that with Blacks anything is possible. A decade later I can without a shadow of a doubt say Neo Hlabane, you were right.

Even the most half-arsed YouTube or Google search will show you how some European cities have been transformed in a blink of an eye. You will see precisely how a gathering of 50+ Blacks can really make you regret whatever long-term commitment you may have had to say, your neighbourhood. Deep down, no scratch that. Not far from the surface we know this about ourselves yet we’ll catch all sorts of feelings when people from other races bring it up as if we are some sort of sacrosanct beings or because we are somehow issued with a disabled sticker at birth because we’re black.

Furthermore, I noticed some quite interesting when reading the responses to Trump’s “Shithole Gate”. Not a single Politician, Ambassador, Member of The UN or ANYONE disputed his comments. Like a broken record spokesperson after spokesperson essentially repeated the same malcontent rhetoric: “President Trump’s comments are unfortunate…”. Unfortunate? How is commentary unfortunate? Correct me if I’m wrong here but, according to my understanding, isn’t coming from a shitty ass place what is “unfortunate?”. Merely stating a fact shouldn’t disrupt the entire global system. That’s a bit like putting a Ferrari sticker on your 1986 Ford Cortina and then getting upset when someone calls your car a Ford Cortina.

If you’re still not convinced, then riddle me this? Why is alcohol sold at, let’s say Loftus Versveld during both local and international rugby games but not during local soccer games? (In all honesty, the PSL may have reinstated the sale of Alcohol but I choose not to subject myself to Coonery on a weekly basis as great as Kaiser Chiefs may be playing so I may be a little off on this one). Same stadium, same field, different types of supporters, different rules. In case you were wondering the sale of alcohol was prohibited at all PSL games a few years ago after chaos erupted at a local football game which saw multiple arrests, hundreds of thousands of Rands in damage to whichever unfortunate stadium it was at and the sobering reality that future football games will be watched minus Charles Glass in hand. Sibongakonke Nhlanhla Musakawukhethi Makhanya summed this up best when I engaged him on this matter by saying: “uDarkie enenkani kanje esober? (Translation: Blacks don’t listen when sober) How much worse when there are a hundred thousand or even fifty thousand of us drunk and packed to the rafters bengalaleli? (Not listening)”
From the sports field to going shopping or just trying to relax free from the ever present threat of Coonery we Black people don’t know how to act, that problem is further exacerbated when dealing with us in large crowds.

Now, you can go all Social Justice Warrior on me or Trump by calling us racist or you can take a long hard look at where we as a race went wrong, start owning our mistakes, teach our communities and our children how to act and hopefully we’ll be able to retire that one card that we collectively use but buys us nothing. I’m sick and tired of having to defend actions that I know we as Black people detest, aren’t you? And don’t for a second think this is one of those conversations where you can duck and dive accountability by making this a money and privilege issue when the majority of people I see pulled over on a highway, dicks in hand are driving BMWs, Audis, Mercs, Porsches or any other budget busting German vehicle. Don’t tell me it’s a money issue when I see a Petrol Attendant standing outside relieving himself under the cover of night while not more than 20 meters away from the toilets.

I would gladly support any protest against Donald Trump if what he said was unfounded. Unfortunately for the professionally offended when you peal back the moral grandstanding and take a critical look at our situation, one quickly realises how idiotic it is to even consider calling anybody who is prepared to call Africa what it is - a racist. We have problems, loads of them, admitting that doesn’t mean we’re inferior to other races. They have their problems too. We just need to get out of the victimhood comfort-zone, roll up our sleeves and start expecting more of ourselves and from ourselves. I would rather fail as an individual and as a collective having given it our best shot than to coast by with a Black handicap because our true potential may never be realised.
I say these things not because I secretly want approval from White people, no. I say these things because it is a stepping stone along the path to true reconciliation and nation building that Nelson Mandela had hoped for. Trashing and looting H&M because you took offence at an image while the rest of the Black world chose the dignified route to having their opinion heard doesn’t make you “revolutionary”. You look uneducated, pathetic and desperate especially since the mother of the child you’re mad about saw nothing wrong with the advert. Let’s pick our battles, let’s ensure we’re doing our bit, put our hands up when we’re wrong, condemn the actions of those who do wrong in our name and let’s start engaging one another on solutions to our community’s problems.
I will leave you with a quote from one of the most peculiar teachers I’ve had in my life whose advice has had the most profound impact on my life…
“Chaps, if you take care of the little things in life, the big things take care of themselves…” – Dave Musto