SHITPOST YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS πŸ’© Steemit Satire Series β€’ Lesson No. 05 β€’ How-to Bid-bot For Dumbasses

in shitposting β€’Β  6 years agoΒ  (edited)

Welcome back to the reader-provoked satire series by @grow-pro, a Steemit Exclusive!

Today we will learn how to use a bid-bot like a complete dumbass. I'm excited to have an expert demonstrate, so let's plunge into this lesson no.05

Thanks to @steevc, this series now has a theme song! Just click the link above to have a listen!

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If you use bid-bots, always remember to bid frivolously and with no regard for your own investment or any other.

Some feel that bid-bots are bad for the community, but they forgot the community is also bad for the community when you act like a total dumbass.Let's begin today's lesson, shall we?

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Please give a round of applause to @dmitrydao for this wonderful lesson

You can see that this was a great investment - the robot has a $47.12 MAX Upvote, so the smart thing to do is obviously send that robot a $69.58 bid.

Steemit is all about 'PROOF OF BRAIN', not 'PROOF OF DUMBASS'


Dumbasses are like farts - they all stink. The first step to being a human is to use your brain. Don't be a dumbass.

Now, this sort of expert knowledge of bid-bots takes many minutes of observation and half a sprinkle of common sense, which is entirely uncommon anymore. You can find this rare magic on eBay, just search "common sense" and use my promo code #sense4dumbasses2018 to have your order expedited.

If you are going to use bid-bots, always remember these helpful tips:

βœ… Not everyone is a total moron, they just act like it online

βœ… If you are going to invest in yourself, do it in ways that lose money and undermine the community services so kindly offered to the public to use

βœ… Always spend way more than you can afford to lose

βœ… Use the awesome tool by @yabapmatt called the STEEMBOTTRACKER so you can ensure your bid far surpasses the possible upvote the bot can return

βœ… Literally never take anything in this series literally

If you act now, we will double your order! We'll email common sense to you AND a friend of your choice.

THE SHIT COMMENTER AWARDS of 2018 / #theshitlist2018 is LIVE!


Be sure to get those badges out there to all of those deserving nominees! You can find the custom badges and image links in lesson 04, so be sure to head there and save the image links so you can simply paste the image into replies! Let those shit-commenters know that their effort does not go unnoticed.

You might be completely opposed to bid-bot usage or you may feel that they are useful services.

No matter which camp you reside in, always remember that the most dangerous force on Earth = dumbasses in large groups.

If we can go through the entire shitpost curriculum together, we will surely have a few laughs and maybe learn a thing or two about how we can all make this place more enjoyable. We've all become aware of the issues that Steemit faces, however, we've seen plenty of whining and far less action. It is high time that we rise together, my friends....

FEEL FREE TO SAVE COURSE MATERIAL, BADGES, AND GRAPHICS IN THIS POST - please use the links provided so that we are not uploading copies of the same image a thousand times. And always remember the first step to being human is to use your brain.

WE ARE JUST SCRATCHING THE SURFACE OF THE SHITPOST YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS SERIES

SHITPOST YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS πŸ₯‡SATIRE SERIES by @GROW-PRO:


✏️ Introducing: SHITPOST YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS πŸ₯‡All NEW Steemit-Exclusive Mini-Series

✏️ SHITPOST YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS πŸ₯‡NEW Steemit-Exclusive Series β€’ Lesson No. 1 β€’ Letting go of quality for profit

✏️ SHITPOST YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS πŸ₯‡NEW Steemit-Exclusive Satire Series β€’ Lesson No. 02 β€’ Stealing Art 101

✏️ SHITPOST YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS πŸ₯‡NEW Steemit-Exclusive Satire Series β€’ Lesson No. 03 β€’ Rebel Writing

✏️ SHITPOST YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS πŸ’© Steemit Satire Series β€’ Lesson No. 04 β€’ How to get votes by shit commenting

πŸ”₯It is getting HOT & I'm Just Gettin' Started!!πŸ”₯

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE DEMANDED MORE!! I PROMISE IT'S ON THE WAY!!!

Special THANKS Time...

A very special thanks to @shadowspub and the party people in Steemit Ramble Discord who've really encouraged me to keep this series rollin'.

Thanks to @jackmiller for the many conversations that have lead to the lesson list growing like a weed.

Thanks to @snook for the encouragement and support to keep the laughs going

Thanks to to @artemisnorth for the hilarious tunes of inspiration.

Thanks to @thekittygirl for the laughs and welcoming to the Ramble Room.

BIG THANKS to @steevc for the awesome theme song - where would the series be without a proper tune?!



Lastly, a special thanks to all the shitposters who took referrals for the byteBALL drop, who opened up hundreds of new accounts and shitposted their way to the airdrop only to ruin the rewards for themselves and many others. Well done, dumbasses, well done!

THIS LESSON WAS MADE ESPECIALLY FOR PYPT!

Pimp Your Post Thursday β€” with host @ShadowsPub [PYPT Host]
This popular curation show has been running since October 2017. Participants take turns presenting their posts to other participants. A great opportunity to get to know others on the platform, share a few laughs, have some interesting conversations and get your content known.
β€” 11am EDT / 3pm UTC and again at 7pm EDT / 11pm UTC

steemit ramble

JOIN ME THERE TODAY IN #PYPT

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all content in this post is original, created for Steemit by @grow-pro


click to visit @witnesspage on steemit, managed by @jackmiller

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Sort Order: Β 

Fantastic @grow-pro .. I'm delighted to see you are going to Pimp this today on PYPT ... keep up this great work

Β  Β· Β 6 years agoΒ 

Trying to gather some activities for the kids to keep them occupied, so I can enjoy the show! Looking forward to it

Β  Β· Β 6 years agoΒ 

hahahahaahaha !!!!
:-) !!!

Β  Β· Β 6 years agoΒ 

There's no shortage of electrons, neutrons and morons. I doubt vote buying will die out as long as people can make a cent and get 'exposure'. We need to flag the crap and support the good content, but we need whales to chip in

Β  Β· Β 6 years agoΒ 

πŸ’― @steevc, but there must be some way we can maintain some symbiotic relationship without undermining the entire integrity of the platform itself. Vote buying & Collusion is everywhere, not just politics, and typically surrounding anything to do with money. It's unfortunate that those in power here would rather rake a few bucks until the lights go out than to sweep the floor and dust every now and again πŸ˜‚

Β  Β· Β 6 years agoΒ 

Greed and corruption are inevitable and impossible to eradicate, but if enough of us care about improving matters then we can make a difference. I need to have some hope

Β  Β· Β 6 years agoΒ 

Well said! Hope in a better world is all we need to endure the turbulence sometimes. We can aim for small improvements enacted by many people - for example, random acts of kindness.

Similar to my argument for bid bots, if these tools were used to help more than ourselves - would they be so bad? I'm pretty sure they were intended to be a way for those of us with some extra SBD (that we had earned or paid for) to give users votes that we could not otherwise give.

When it becomes only a means for self, it loses the initial value of the good intent. That is something that we can all change but not by inaction. It's the little things that we can do to show that we care and those often mean the most.

;) If anyone out there needs a bit of common sense just hit me up as I've LOADS of it. Rare indeed................. enjoyed brother.

Β  Β· Β 6 years agoΒ 

β˜πŸ˜† Heard that! Ignorance is free, but common sense must cost a fortune judging by the market..lol Not many in line to buy

Thanks for the laugh! πŸ˜†

Β  Β· Β 6 years agoΒ 

My pleasure! Thanks for tolerating me πŸ˜†
Hopefully, plenty more laughs on the way, @thekittygirl

awesome post, man.
funny and viciously informative.
and I'm totally using that shitpost award at some point.
I really really really think it should be one of the first things new Steemians see.
Uh, this post not the award.

Β  Β· Β 6 years agoΒ 

Thanks2 to You, @corpsvalues.
Feel free to check out all the badges in the previous part of the series & use them freely! I created them to really help those special comments stand out and get recognized. I think the series really does help new users so long as they can cut through my humor.

I'm just saying what I mean, I mean what I say and I'm having probably too much fun doing it πŸ˜†
Thanks again, buddy!

Whats great about this stuff is 1 Bid always = 1 Bot

Β  Β· Β 6 years agoΒ 

Indeed, like a basket - don't pile all the eggs in just 1 βœŒοΈπŸ˜‰

Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by grow-pro from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows. Please find us at the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.

If you would like to delegate to the Minnow Support Project you can do so by clicking on the following links: 50SP, 100SP, 250SP, 500SP, 1000SP, 5000SP.
Be sure to leave at least 50SP undelegated on your account.

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