An iternal and eternal conflict

Abruptly, it throbs!
A forgotten sensation visited my existence as a foreigner.
It is confuse, so is my existence.
I thought it had dried out.
Ages ago my existence, being evil, had robbed away its precious throbs!
Out of nowhere why did it became alive?
It throbs and throbs and throbs and . . . !!
The warm foreign sensation boiling me away.
My conciousness evaporating, becoming one with the stormy clouds.
My body turned a puppet for this hellfire warmth.

‘What do you yearn for?’
I demanded.
Silence, I received.

‘Nothing would come good of your existence.’
I stated.
More throbs came out!
It stated.

‘I want you to die.’
I shed tears as I cried out.
The cruel warmth became warmer.
It shed blood as it throbed again.

I gave up.
I knew what it yearns for.
Exactly as me.
I loosened up.
And let whatever it desire to do with my body.

---

It is confused.
The world didn't seem to be the same as it was when ‘it’ died out.
For then there was a blooming moon on a starlit sky.
But now there is a blazing sun that it couldn't look at.
Thus,
It is confused.
It could only throb.
It could only desire.
It could only inflict warm pain on its possesor.
For it doesn't follow logic!

‘What do you yearn for?’
I demanded.
It was confused, cannot possibly answer my question.

‘Nothing would come good of your existence.’
I stated.
The words shook ‘it’ to its core.
Dejected, it throbs more.

‘I want you to die’
I shed tears as I cried out.
Unknowningly, I cried a portion of 'its' tears.
It spun right and left to kill itself
But cannot do so and so it throbs more and leaked out more blood.

It gave up.
It decided not to throb again.
It decided not to yearn again.
It decided to fall in deep slumber again.
Never to woke up again.

---

I was ready for whatever to come.
I was ready for it to take over my body and do whatever it (and I) wanted to do.
But however nothing happened.
I waited and waited and waited and . . . !
I realized, I gasped.
It died out again.

---

‘I am sorry, my alien organ!
You were a part of me
And wanted to do what I wanted to do.
So you must be confused and scared of
The hypocrisy of my own thoughts.
And yet I cursed and hurt you.
But you know as long as ‘he’ lives,’
I pointed to myself that had been reflected on a mirror,
‘I cannot do whatever I and you desire to do.
As long as there are mirrors
As long as there are reflecting surfaces
As long as there is light,
I am hopeless, deprived of any light.
I am crippled, despite having working limbs.
I'm the shadow of this big bright world.’

---

I stood somewhere
Deep in my dark conscience
Mourning before the slumbering body
Of my alien organ.

Abruptly, it throbs!
Abruptly, it end!

A forgotten sensation was again forgotten!