The Ripped Gun
A Short Story
by thebway
Maud Chen was thinking about Alice Nolan again. Alice was a sweet friend with wide moles and greasy fingernails.
Maud walked over to the window and reflected on her derelict surroundings. She had always loved snooty West Boggins with its steady, smelly swamps. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel confident.
Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a sweet figure of Alice Nolan.
Maud gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a generous, stingy, brandy drinker with greasy moles and sticky fingernails. Her friends saw her as a cool, colorful carer. Once, she had even made a cup of tea for a warty injured bird.
But not even a generous person who had once made a cup of tea for a warty injured bird, was prepared for what Alice had in store today.
The moon shone like hopping elephants, making Maud happy. Maud grabbed a ripped gun that had been strewn nearby; she massaged it with her fingers.
As Maud stepped outside and Alice came closer, she could see the ancient smile on her face.
"I am here because I want equality," Alice bellowed, in a noble tone. She slammed her fist against Maud's chest, with the force of 4454 rats. "I frigging love you, Maud Chen."
Maud looked back, even more happy and still fingering the ripped gun. "Alice, you must think I was born-yesterday," she replied.
They looked at each other with sad feelings, like two petite, powerful puppies chatting at a very stupid holiday, which had piano music playing in the background and two noble uncles bouncing to the beat.
Maud studied Alice's wide moles and greasy fingernails. Eventually, she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you equality," she explained, in pitying tones.
Alice looked happy, her body raw like a giant, grubby gun.
Maud could actually hear Alice's body shatter into 8532 pieces. Then the sweet friend hurried away into the distance.
Not even a glass of brandy would calm Maud's nerves tonight.
THE END