a little moon - mixed media collage work

a little moon. part of "a black dreamscape" by ciel sainte-marie and lynx sainte-marie
Copyright @justatouchfey - All Rights Reserved.

It's been almost 5 weeks since my hand injury and I'm definitely feeling the sting not only of not being able to use it much without pain, but of feeling stressed about how to move forward.

As a disabled artist and writer, I fell in love with crypto because it gave me a lot of space to earn money for my work on my terms. But that doesn't come without work and grind. I've been an event organizer and live games designer for years which has given me a honed sense of how I get things done. I generally know pretty quickly if I can do something, how long it will take me, and what my challenges will be. Being on the autism spectrum, I approach these things in a very straightforward, literal manner. And right now I feel incredibly frustrated by the lack of data.

I've never been seriously injured physically before in my hands. The last few weeks of having to get my partner and friends to help me with things like my hair, food, everything has been exhausting and I feel a little stuck. I even had to bring in helpers for my Cinepoetry workshop. I don't yet understand the full extent of how this injury will affect me which means I can't assess how to continue to provide for myself and my partner.

So, today I decided to post a piece of art to remind myself that I am a creator. This is a collage piece I made last year when my partner and I were still long-distance. It's a very important piece to me because it was the first in a series of similar collages that I made while cleaning out my mother's basement. It was inspired by this quote:

“Even if you are a small forest surviving off of moon alone, your light is extraordinary.”
― Nayyirah Waheed, salt

As someone who grew up poor and has continued to face challenges due to unemployability related to my disabilities, making art from whatever I have available has always been my path. When I do art installations, I use primaily materials I can find or salvage and am constantly trying to find ways to refine my aesthetic.

I love this piece for the alchemy of it - how the pieces all came from many different sources and how I learned new techniques through this series. My partner improved upon it even more and the final piece has been exhibited in both Toronto and Winnipeg.

being exhibited in toronto at the gladstone hotel

Art is a lifeline for so many of us. This week I want to take time to breathe and re-centre and figure out how I want to tap into my spark moving forward. Do I continue doing the same kind of work, just slower and with more patience? Do I change how I tell my stories to accomodate the pain I'm currently experiencing?

I'm hoping that expressing my feelings will help me feel more centered in how to move forward. Thanks for reading. xo