I am a gay businessman embodied in a hippie female artist body decentralizing my soul into the blockchain

This is a picture of me right now vaping a usb stick ehem.. juul feeling as insane as i look
my partner makes fun of me in a loving way saying "i love how passionate you are about this blockchain movement" as I laugh and also cry a little before this photo was taken.

I call our connection a decentralized relationship - more on open love that seems to be monogamous yet has no boundaries on another article soon.

Focus! okay.. so

Just heard @stellabelle 's @artnome podcast http://dankrares.libsyn.com/website/interview-with-slothicorn-founder-stellabelle and I feel two things:

one: hopeful for this conscious collective evolution where creative beings of all kinds can live well by doing what they love

two: overwhelmed and full of a tsunami of emotions that make me want to walk right back into the jungle, and never look at a screen ever again, while as these very thoughts don't finish fully forming, they morph into knowing so vividly in my entrańas(guts) that there is nothing else I'd rather do with my time, than help bring this blockchain art evolution forth, for myself and as many other artists as I can collaborate with.

Every time a new layer of blockchain art is laid upon my field of awareness, I feel this combination of fear and exhaustion, and simultaneous creative outburst of this weird energy, turning into excitement that leaves me typing or expressing in other creative ways.

Why do I feel so far away from this movement when I am right in the middle of it? I bet so many of you feel it too and deep down we know there are so many others, and that innately we all want to connect, but as I try logging into the discord channel for @slothicoin, and a bunch of javascript is splattered up on pop up windows that won't allow me for whatever law of the universe right now, to sign up and be a part of that conversation, I sit here and type my inspiration and frustration, in hopes of connecting with you here reading, the creative crazy person who is only crazy because that is the most normal definition of creativity we have, based on old language and programming.

I have been in this blockchain art movement for a while, 8 years working in various aspects of tech from ai personalities, to branding and pr strategizing, trying to monetize my creativity in a way that is not dependent or regulated by a larger entity or corporation, and finally, for the past 2 years, travelling the conference circuit painting, speaking, reporting, doing everything I can to learn and inform, I am starting to see some serious benefits, and also some serious anxiety.

I had the privilege of live painting at @tokenfest.io last week in SF, sponsored by the swarm fund and vault logic, (a biz strategy I have been developing for a year more ont that later) and surrounded by inspiring humans and projects I mostly spent my time answering these question: "why are you painting here" "why art" "why are you here" as conversations and sometimes arguments developed, it was invigorating having the floor and voice to explain to these very intelligent people, that art, is the visceral bridge to connecting all of this epic technology, to the 80 percent of people in the middle who dont yet grasp as easily the connection between the two, from hyper tech nerds to hyper resistent non technical artists.

To be completely honest, there is a part of me that has enjoyed being at the forefront of this conference-live-painting-movement - being one of the few actively in the circuit on site - and manifesting opportunities to sell my art for more dash flow than ever before, at the same time, the compassionate artists in me has been extending similar ops to as many artists friends as possible because I truly believe in uncapped abundance within blockchain.

There are so many magnificent art projects happening on the blockchain right now, anyone else on a million telegram groups? there are so many of us, and by no means, I here assume I am at the forefront of this live painting at conferences alone, but from the conversations and events these past 2 years, it seems as though there are fewer of us than is true.

Moving out of the scarcity mindset and balancing my ego so far has been a mindfuck to say the least. Especially when taught that we are never good enough and as soon as we believe it, we are shown the many mirrors that create questions of integrity. As always, and in previous posts, please call me out when I am being an arrogant prick, people on youtube seem to have no problem with that :P

The one thing I am most thankful for, is good people, good friends, with honest constructive criticism. Its a natural flow of boundary expansion, finding ways to value ourselves with positive self-talk while slaying old programming anticuated language.

I am proud of my accomplishments and unlike some hurtful comments that I will not take personally "nice whales you found keep riding that money wave" I know it has taken me a lot of research and persistence to get to where I am today, yet the amount of work I see in front of me is so massive, and often feels like tretching through an unknown universe of contradictions alone, but again, I know there are many of you who at times feel the same and thank you @steemit and community and satoshi - perhaps - for giving us the opportunity to connect abouts in this madness.

So far I have learned a lot:

I am a gay businessman embodied in a hippie female artist body
My ambition is both my magic and my kryptonite
No matter how much I resist it, I am good at producing dank events https://steemit.com/art/@nanuberks/art-experiences-are-the-bridge-between-profit-and-projects-why-every-artists-should-be-a-blockchain-artists
sometimes I have to produce events, paint, be the pr agent, investor connector and wear all the hats, t shirts and strange outfits in order to create opportunities for others in the way I create them for myself
working all day every day and on weekends is addictive and making time to not obsess over this movement is vital for my sanity
people will pay for your creativity whatever you tell them you are worth - as long as your branding strategy is on point
no entrepreneur knows wtf they are doing or at least feels that way once or twice a week
the opportunities are endless and no matter how good it seems, or how big the budgets are, working with people who don't align exactly with your moral compass is a waste of time

there is so much more to say and share and I hope these posts are useful as we continue this terrestrial exploration of exporting our souls back into the ether of oneness.

I love you, thank you for reading. Youtube videos being uploaded of these partnership-experiments, combinations of being everything I enjoy being in the blockchain space, a connector, a reporter, a producer, an entrepreneur, a live artists, a fine artists, a crypto community creator, and a very strange Argentinian traveling to as many conscious tech gatherings as I can get to.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCeGlr1vZLFT6VokLpH4S6AA?view_as=subscriber

• Working on uploading more through dtube directly :)

Saludos,

Nanu
http://nanuberks.com/