I got out of my spaceship today

Knowing what day it is has become tricky and my sleeping schedule is out of whack. Until today, I hadn’t had a conversation with a person outside of a screen on my device. I braved it and took the trash out to the outside bin and crossed paths of safe social distancing parameters with my neighbors and their baby. It was nice to enjoy a brief chat. I was starting to feel like an astronaut and my apartment was my spaceship floating in time and space. It had been EIGHT days since I last spoke to a person IRL.

It was a beautiful day today, the kind that would normally inspire me to take the convertible top down and call a friend to enjoy a scenic drive. Instead, the bulk of my outside time was spent in my patio garden where I placed a frame with family photos to remind me to get some safe fresh air and not feel sorry for myself. I’m fortunate that my isolation and solitude is suffered in a pretty space.

I have enough food and supplies to keep me from public spaces for another week. My tomato plant looks happy. See those yellow blossoms? A cherry tomato is on its way. I wish it had some tomatoes ready for me. I have an eggplant in the fridge and a bag of broccoli crowns. And then, I’m out of fresh vegetables.

This surreal time makes me appreciate things I took for granted; the routines of going grocery shopping for fresh fruits and vegetables, enjoying a meal at a restaurant to catch up with a friend, doing laundry! The laundry room is community space and used to never stress me out.

My family and friends have been great keeping in touch. I’ve been greeting them by saying “Hello, ground control.” Seeing everyone I know through a computer screen and living alone has me feeling spacey. I can’t imagine sharing this uncertain time with someone else. Would I feel more at ease? Would I sleep better? Or would it be scarier worrying about getting someone I cared and loved sick as we risked going out to get food and necessities.

I’m fasting. I don’t nervous eat. I’ve actually lost weight since last week even though I usually intermittently fast out of habit. I’m eating less to ration and stretch out my food. And I’m spending more time online researching and trying to make sense of this all of a sudden crazy world. And boy, is there a lot to make my head spin. How dangerous is this virus and are people really dying? What’s going on with celebrities and sports figures getting the virus? Are they all better or getting sicker? Did you see Madonna on Instagram?

I appreciate people blogging from around the world. Reading just a couple sentences on the popular social media sites isn’t enough. Its confusing seeing that there are people partying at the beach and yet I have friends sharing their friend’s post from the hospital actually dealing with the virus and taking the malaria medicine. Some folks don’t believe this pandemic is real.

This is very real. My sister-in-law is working TEN hours every day with her hospital team. She doesn’t get the weekend off. And still she checks on me every couple of days because she knows I’m on my own. Alone in my spaceship of an apartment. Touching base with her, I take my isolation seriously to help flatten the curve. I don’t get depressed or mad that Life is the way it is. I’m fortunate. Maybe I will have another eight days before I talk to another person IRL but I won’t feel alone. There’s too many good people in my life and they are helping me float while I sit alone; with their messages and video calls.

Every small way we lift each other up, lightens the burden of uncertainty. It’s a dark time for everyone the world over but we can be a light to one another in simple ways. Here, my neighbor put up her Christmas lights and a sign for when we pass her window.

Maybe we can’t say hello and chat with our neighbors the way we used to. But we can still be neighbors and cheer each other up. We are in this together.

JNET