tan brillante como fugaz
que cada que miro tu faz
dejas un deseo aciago
si podía verte venir
mas tu osabas siempre partir
y de ti mis manos se alejaban
de ti no podré olvidarme
porque en mi todo permanece
mujer utópica y efímera soy,
donde pasamos un río de placeres.
Concurso patrocinado por el witness @cervantes. No te olvides de votarlo en la siguiente página: http://www.steemit.com/~witnesses
Un saludo @valeero, tu soneto no sigue las reglas del concurso , no lleva la metrica y tampoco tiene en cuenta las 11 sílabas por verso
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Hola! Buen día, la métrica también hace referencia al conteo de sílabas :) ya lo tenía en cuenta pero gracias @yenipaola
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Buenas tardes @valeero
Algunos de sus versos rondan entre 8 y 9 sílabas por lo que no seguirían la norma establecida de 11 sílabas por verso.
Asimismo le sugiero que revise las rimas de sus versos, ya que la única rima válida es la establecida como ABBA ABBA CDC DCD
Gracias.
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Hola! Buenas! La rima si la cumple ... La métrica no y lo tengo en cuenta, gracias
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Señorita, la rima de su poema es un ABBC DEED FGF HIH
Dónde ve usted que esa rima que usted ha hecho sea igual a la que yo propuse para el concurso?
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Bueno Señor, perdóneme la vida. Gracias
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Lindo poema Valeero
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