Smile Again 2018 @mariecruze : My Depression Story

in spokenwords •  7 years ago 

I rendered this as a spoken word at #smileagain2018 Depression seminar last Saturday. Enjoy!

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Depression is a fog that clouds your every thoughts and emotions, and when it grows thicker you find it difficult to breathe and break free

See, I'm hurting
I'm struggling
Sometimes I'm suffocating

Maybe I feel so alone because I've built walls so high that you can't get in.

You've tried truly, but I chose to ignore vividly.
Maybe someday I'll open up to you

Depression is me telling you I'm fine when inside I'm dying
It's me faking a smile just to keep myself from crying
Its not as if I'm not trying
But each time I tried to explain to you, your words are denying.

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You say: be cool, you don't have any reason to be depressed. Cheer up you say

Do you think I chose this?
See, I'm a fragile creature that can only take as much and when things get tough anything can be my crutch.

I wish it were that easy
Cos each day that goes by is another battle I cannot win
Each breath is so painful that I just wanna give up and cave in

It's being submerged by darkness when light surround others
Its being surrounded by everything but still feeling alone

It's pushing everybody that loves me as far as humanely possible cos I don't deserve them, desert them before they desert me, its quick sand sinking

Its having a hundred hours of sleep and still feel tired as hell
It's finally falling asleep and waking up feeling so pissed up for no apparent reason

It's having five showers at least a day and still not feeling clean.

I have discovered that sadness happens to all with no reason at all,

image[source]](deviantart.com)

It doesn't care who you are and it definitely will not care when you plea

Understanding you have all it takes to make a dark days bright is not enough

You need to reach within your core and consciously break the mask of continous sadness that has fixed itself to your face

You need to choose happiness even if your days are still clouded

You need to break barriers and open your heart to the light of happiness

You deserve to smile again
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©aristokratos 2018

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Hello! I find your post valuable for the wafrica community! Thanks for the great post! @wafrica is now following you! ALWAYs follow @wafrica and use the wafrica tag!

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Muy valiosa tu información, hermosa te dejo mi humilde voto y un resteem. Felicitaciones. Esto de la depresión es un caso serio.

Gracias por esto. Sinceramente aprecio

Eine lächelnde Figur ist ein glücklicher Geist. Unabhängig von der Situation sollten wir sprechen lernen, bevor Depression zum Selbstmord führt.
bleib so hoch wie du @aristokratos

😂😂😂😂

Das sind tolle Worte von dir, lieber Freund. Du hast in deinem inneren Mann aufschlussreiche Worte, die eine sterbende Seele beruhigen.

Ich danke dir sehr💗💗