Do you believe that professional athletes make good role models for young people?
Support your opinion with reasons and examples from your knowledge or experience.
In modern life, skilled athletes have a pivotal impact on youngsters, specifically they have become models that teenagers follow. I am of the opinion that this has both advantages and disadvantages.
On the one hand, young people are positively influenced by the athletes. Firstly, young supporters may follow their idols to play sports, leading to health improvement. Since public health is developed, young blue-collars might be healthy enough to contribute to national economic growth. Furthermore, teenagers are likely to be inspired by their idols' positive personalities, resulting in great achivements later in life. For example, Mbappé, who has been a huge fan of Cristiano Ronaldo since he was a little kid, was a lucrative footballer of Paris Saint German due to practicing flat out like Ronaldo.
SourceMbappé used to live a room decorated with tons of CR7's pictures around. If you watch World Cup 2018, you will definitely know this boy.
On the other hand, there are several shortcomings that should not be overlooked. On top of that, some extreme sports like boxing tend to make people become wilder. To be specific, supporters of both sides have been batting during the rounds and are willing to fight against each other. Thus, while an abundance of people lose a plenty of money, some are sent to the hospital after scuffles. Additionally, young fans are likely to immitate the athletes who have an unhealthy lifestyle, causing crimes' rate increase. Specifically, for instance, those reaplicating well-known athletes to puchase a range of luxurious stuff may put finacial burden on their parents' back due to lack of money to afford.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that professional athletes have equally positive and negative effects on the youth.
Thanks for reading ! :)
By @lecongdoo3
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Hey bro, good writing.
There are some minor mistakes and typos in your writing; I would suggest double-checking before submitting, this will help to build your habit to check everything you write before sending out.
A few points that I would like to point out, hope it will help you in some ways:
The beginning: I think generally yours is OK, here is mine:
Nowadays, one of the most discussed topics is about the young atheles who have become the role model for the youth. In my opinion, I actively in favor of this idea, but it should be taken into account to prevent any shortcoming.
Your main paragraphs:
The rest is OK; your ideas are well supported
Ending paragraph
I think it, is not OK to end quite short like this. I would like to discuss more about how to utilize the excellent point and how to minimize the disadvantage.
I would write it as follow:
In conclusion, young athletes play an essential role in shaping the behaviors of youngsters. If the managing company can cooperate with the school to promote the sport, it will bring a lot of benefit to the youth. On the other hand, there should be an effort to educate the youth about the upper lifestyle of athletes is not suitable for them.
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Thanks for your positive feedback ! Actually, I don't double- check before submitting. Next time, I'll check more carefully. Your samples are very helpful. :)
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