Poetry Slam Contest Episode 5: ADAM speaks

in stachpoetry •  6 years ago  (edited)


Source: ExChristian.Net

Oh such joy and heavenly peace,
In a garden abundant with laden trees.
My thoughtful God is so good to me –
'Cause from my side he fashioned Eve.
Sweet companionship for better or worse....
and the garden provideth and quenches our thirst.
From the trees we ate - we had permission,
All but one - was God’s only prohibition.
That was no problem – there were so many trees,
We were happy that we could do as we please.

Then one day evil came a-tempting.
In the form of a serpent – his teasing unrelenting.
Eve said “sorry I must listen to God”
The serpent said “eat the fruit - you will be awed.
Your eyes will open – you will become so wise,
Good and bad will become clear in your eyes.
Oh but hear me – you will rejoice,
Or stay in darkness - you have a choice.”

Eve was delighted and ate the fruit,
However, she decided to tell me the truth.
I said "no problem we are in this together,"
Eve said "for better or worse – I do remember."
I tasted the fruit - ‘twas good indeed,
We had no spite – we threw away the seed.
I could not resist, the fruit looked so delicious.
Although I knew this was not judicious.

We surely knew of what we did.
When God dropped by, we went and hid.
God said to us, "you are both disobedient,
You should never listen to an evil serpent!"
Although the “first couple” we had to leave the garden,
From God the father – there was no pardon.
Our eyes now opened because we took the bate,
From figs leaves, clothing, we now create.
Hand in hand we departed accepting our curse,
Forever, together - for better and now worse.

I would like to thank @stach for this contest. The original link to the contest can be found here:
https://steemit.com/stachpoetry/@stach/stach-poetry-slam-contest-episode-5

The poem must contain or convey the message "FOR BETTER OR WORSE"

Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
Sort Order:  

Awesome! You did convert the story of the first man on earth into what seems like a rap... Or probably am the one that loves the flow.. Kudos

@burlarj happy that you love the flow - you totally got it. It’s left up to the artistic imagination.

agree mate !

This actually is really really good. I don't normally read posts related to religion, but this poem is just that good from beginning to finish.

I also normally hate poems but I this one captures my attention up to the very end. :)

Posted using Partiko Android

Thanks for your comment. I think it is not about personal beliefs and practices - there is something for everyone in this love story.

Wow
I was so glued to my device reading every line twice before moving on
This is just so lit
Amazing, I so so love the flow. So beautiful MomoGrow

Congratulations, this post has been featured by #wafrica daily curation, courtesy of @julietisrael

Thank you @julietisrael - you are so sweet. Really appreciate your comment. This was so much fun to write - you might have felt that.

I never knew i could read Genesis of the bible without getting bored.. this is awesome

Thank you @sparrowbernard - happy you like it.

wow! nice poem, look like it can be rapped as @burlarj told! keep ur good work u dear! I want to read more poems like this. stay well!

@mango-juice - love the name by the way. Thanks for your nice comment. I leave it to your imagination - rapping etc.

Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by MoMoGrOw from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows. Please find us at the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.

If you would like to delegate to the Minnow Support Project you can do so by clicking on the following links: 50SP, 100SP, 250SP, 500SP, 1000SP, 5000SP.
Be sure to leave at least 50SP undelegated on your account.

I loved this poem...
It had the flow and everything I look for in a poem.. 😊😊

@winarobert - thanks so much for your feedback. Happy you like it.

Hi @momogrow!

Your post was upvoted by @steem-ua, new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation! Your UA account score is currently 2.782 which ranks you at #12236 across all Steem accounts.
Your rank has dropped 2 places in the last three days.

In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 160 contributions, your post is ranked at #125.

Evaluation of your UA score:
  • Only a few people are following you, try to convince more people with good work.
  • The readers like your work!
  • Your contribution has not gone unnoticed, keep up the good work!

Feel free to join our @steem-ua Discord server

That was an awesome poetic rendition of the oldest story ever....
lol, I started to make the comment all rhyme, but changed my mind.

@coinsandchains - aww thank u - You should have continued - I will now pull your leg:
That was an awesome poetic rendition of the oldest story ever....
I started to make the comment all rhyme, but I wasn't so clever
to find the right words, so I changed my mind,
Now you've done it for me, you are so kind.

Haha

lol, that's awesome I love it. BTW thank you very much for the kind words and nomination in my contest last week. I've been out of commision for a few days, sorry for the late reply.

@coinsandchains
A late reply is better than none,
being out of commission is really no fun,
happy you are well, I will see you around,
thankful for the neatest contest in town.

Lol I love it, but for some reason, I can never think of a rhyme when I want to.

Ok -I understand. 😀

This poem is late,
as two days have passed,
as I have too much on my plate ,
and too many jobs I have amassed,
yet I should go and reply some more,
just so I can boost my engagement score....
lol

@coinsandchainsApologirs forget to say I love your rhyme

I would have definitely eaten from the wrong tree ... glad to know that even without pardon there is at least grace... more than I deserve and your words are comforting :)

@vladivostok - indeed there is grace and the "first couple" demonstrated that no matter what happened there were committted even if things change from better to worse. Through sick and sin.

A witty post. Religious but instructive. It appears to be a tale of the bound and affection in marriage. A good read, this is.

@gandhibaba - thank you. Indeed - it is the "first couple's" demonstration of commitment to each other