Here is what I had consumed twenty four hours prior to excretion. Water, a cold piece of fried chicken for breakfast and a premixed vodka raspberry for lunch. Later that afternoon I sculled four more. For dinner I cut up lemon and lime wedges and proceeded to mix myself double shot gin and tonics until I came too at three am throwing up on the bathroom floor.
About a litre of tonic water and six hundred milliliters of gin was drunk. Feast your eyes.
One could imagine that each log was fitted with minuscule amounts of explosives triggered at a specific altitude by cleverly designed detonators. This is not staged, I can assure you that I am not using the toilet brush to force the scatter of shrapnel. It may look like it takes allot of struggle to bloody up this murder scene but I honestly exert very little effort at all. A couple of squeezes at best and the banked up air does the rest of the work. I imagine a movie theater emptying, the air is represented by impatient patrons trying to push through the rest, finding any out through the bottle neck. At this movie though, the impatient patrons make up almost forty seven percent. In effect, their rush also helps clear everyone else out too. It is loud, voluminous and violent.
During one of my many short bursts of relief I realized that I was bringing something from the past into the future. I brought it within me, from two thousand and nineteen and left it in two thousand and twenty. A great sense of achievement fills me then as it does now, I just smiled again within this reflection.
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Definitely will do, but I don't know how and will not look it up.
So do tell, but very briefly, preferably in numbered bullet points.
No more than 200 words, thank you kindly.
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