I think this whole social media experience has been good for you, I was a little worried about you..

beginning.

It started in the comment section, remember? Neither do I but that’s where it started. I don’t know the date off the top of my head or what article it was but I released one about something and you said something about it in the comment section, remember?

The first couple of times you dropped me a line I could tell you were just starting to get your thumbs wet and now look at us. We’ve written article sized comments back and forth to each other so many times now I can almost predict when to expect a response from you. I can tell you’ve maintained a good line of communication with quite a few authors, not just me, you’ve come a long way since we met—congratulations! Man, I don’t know how to say this constructively and, in a positive way, with only the best of intentions without hurting your feelings but reading your sentences when we first met, without cringing, was like trying to suck on a ladle of horse radish without bleeding from my eyeballs.

_(Impossible)

With all of the technological advancements at our fingertips today and what seems to be an endless supply of capable, open source information I know you’re holding in the palm of your hand, fully equipped with DuckDuckGo, Wikipedia, w.dot dictionary dotcom and everything else required to use “they’re” correctly in a sentence—each time you talk about ‘there car is parked over their,” I’m not gonna lie, that ish was tough to read.

I’m not sure what’s worse, that or the improper use of back to back T’s, even autocorrect won’t help you with that one. That reminds me—autocorrect! If you’re still relying on autocorrect to know the difference between your waist and your waste, keep practicing, you’re doing great! Next is wait and weight—you’re not they’re there yet, steel and steal are taking a little longer than expected and we’re still on tunnels—nobody ever threw a tunnel, they go through mountains. Now where in the phô was I?! Back to back T’s... Like that ashtray sign you made that said “Putt Ur But’s Hear.” Bitter is just an extra T from having some explaining to do and cuter is one T away from being a sharp object.

I can tell you’ve spent quite a bit of time on here conversing back and forth with a variety of content producers rounding your social media learning experience. You’ve come a long way, your lingual progression is proof of brain. When we first met and you would tell me how you lived in the passed to much instead of in the past too much, it was tough to read, I’m not gonna lie. I’m not talking about a ttyppo, those hapen awl the time, I’m talking about knowing if you’re your new shoes are knew or old. #knewshoes.

Grade school level grammatical errors are tough to overlook. I can tell who’s using a translation app, I’m not taking about them. I’m talking about errors that spoil an authors credibility like ‘pole’ when it should’ve been ‘pull,’ it’s weird. Not white van with blacked out windows and shaved door handles, weird. Weird like an afternoon turd, weird.

_(Almost)

I know if I keep the screen on this thing illuminated a little longer I’ll think of more grammatical errors that, once repeated over and over and over and over and over are tough to ignore like an ingrown hair on your paint, sea what eye mean? One myst Pee on your “Taint” and the hole joke’s runned.

Butt four reel, this is the last paradigm. cents eye no you can lien on things like autocorrect and internet searches, it’s the won’s who can’t splell four shittite too the point where even autocorrect is like...

There just to tough two keep an I on.