THE IRONY OF LOVE

What is love?? When I was in high school, love to me was like air, I need to have it to keep on being alive. It is everything to me. Yeah, I know it is pathetic but I was young and dumb.

When my mother died, all I wanted was to feel that love again. And the idea of being into a relationship made me think that I would get it. So, I searched and searched for it. I found one. I thought that was it. I had felt the love and fell for it. For over a year, I can say I was happy. Even though we don’t see each other every single day but then he made me feel like I was everything. So, I decided to give my best.

Then, one day he just told me he's sorry and that he's married. He said we couldn't continue it because his wife already knew about us and he loves his family so much. I thought that was just a very bad joke. I dreamt for him to be mine forever. I thought I was destined for him as he was destined for me. But then, he showed me everything. His family, his wedding ring. All of it. I just cried.

“How come I was so blinded?? How come I did not see it??” Yes, there were signs but I decided not to believe it. I just wanted to be loved and even if it means just to receive even the smallest bit of it, I would settle for it. I will just suffice his love just to make that love whole. I was very true but I was cheated. And the worst thing that I felt was the guilt that I almost break up a family.

I felt so bad at that time, like really bad. I lost myself in the process of loving him.

Then, I met this guy on Facebook. He's a workmate of my college classmate. I was so broken at that time and I thought that by finding someone I would be able to heal faster. I guess it was boredom that decided him to talk to me.
We decided to meet after almost a month of chatting and exchanging sweet words and something happened. We were not in love. We were not drunk, we both knew what we were up to. We knew to consequences but we decided to make that mistake.

A month has passed and my period didn't come. I was so scared but quite excited as well. Having a baby and becoming a mother excites me. A few days more, it was confirmed. I was carrying a blessing.

I decided to tell him. After all, it was his right. He is the father. I already prepared myself. I already expected that he won't accept it. I thought that I can just raise the baby on my own.

I chatted him on Facebook and to my surprise, he was very positive about it. He told me that he would take the responsibility and that we'll tell our parents. I was so happy about it but I was scared too because I knew how my grandma would react to it. She would force us to get married before the baby will be born. I was scared with the idea. I was never prepared for it. I never dream of marrying someone that I don't love. For me, a wedding should be sacred. It should be a fairy tale because that would be the start of forever. But then, he assured me that it would not happen. He told me that we will try to work things out and see where it will lead us. He said that we'll get married by the time we are ready and if it's what our hearts really wanted.

Everything went by smoothly, we were both accepted by each side of the family and they were very excited about our baby. But, the first three months of living together with him was very difficult. We were both strangers to each other and adjusting was really hard more especially that we have a baby already. We almost came to the point of giving up. I am just so lucky that he had so much belief in us and had never let me go.

Then New Year's eve of 2017, he proposed to me. Yaay! I never expected it. He did it in front of his family. I was very happy at that time. I said, yes! We then got married on April 20, 2017. From then on, he never failed to be a good husband. And, I just woke up feeling deeply in love and loved.

I know that we should never marry for responsibility. But I am glad I did. Because we are happy now. We are counting for more years to come of being together and being more in love.

I now believe that everything that’s happened to you has a reason. I was cheated just to find my one truly love in a very unusual way. It wasn’t what I dreamt of but still, it turned out beautiful. So, never wait for love nor begged for it because it will never be yours and will never come. Let it come in unexpected ways. And believe me, that's how best love stories are created.

Photos are mine :)