I'm going to take this opportunity to touch a topic that almost nobody talks about in a relationship, how could you define your relationship? You are in love? Are you codependent or dependent on that person? Or is he enslaved to her?
When I turned 18, I had my first courtship, everything was fine, until I really realized where I was. My boyfriend was a drug addict. A problem of drug consumption that is supposed, at that time was "controlled", under medication and medical supervision.
His psychologist asked me if I was willing to continue the relationship, after 10 seconds of silence, which for me was about 30 minutes, I decided to say yes, with intentions of "helping" him, and believe me I did.
What was waiting for me now? I did not know I was totally involved in a dysfunctional family, I was a girlfriend of a boy who did not believe in his father, who got married forever to give him "the best", and who took refuge in drugs to fill the emptiness he felt.
With the passing of the months everything was "normal", until the behavior of my boyfriend began to change, I had not noticed, but his mom began to notice, again, that things were missing in the house (that way he gave an account of his consumption problem), and confronted him. To my surprise, he admitted.
At that moment everything began to get worse and I started to fall into a state of codependence, "I want to leave, but I can not," he thought. I started to research on the subject, what I could do, how I would act and how I could help him.
We reached a breaking point, its consumption was nothing hidden and I almost to the point of despair, but what prevented me from ending it?
I spent months looking for all the rehabilitation centers I had and for having, my family had a good economic position, so they accepted that I was admitted to one of the best, in another state, for 12 months of treatment. And there I was, in the fight, supposedly in love.
After 12 months of treatment, 10 were met, expectations were exceeded during that time. And me there. After 2 and a half years of relationship, I decided to finally finish with him because I simply accepted that I could not visualize myself with him in the future; I fell into a state of "insurmountable" depression for me at that time.
So, here comes the questions, love? Codependency or dependency? Slavery?
The last two were the answer to my situation.
According to a web portal Emotional dependence is like any other dependence on a drug, plain and simple. As the one who has an addiction to alcohol, cocaine, tobacco, etc ... The emotional dependent suffers a strong attachment to his emotional partner.
This disorder affects both men and women, although men admit less, either by educational patterns or shame, which usually aggravates the problem. This pathology affects more than 10% of the population, so you have to be alert. The person who suffers from emotional dependence has an extreme and constant need for affection, and an atrocious fear that their partner leaves, abandonment or feeling alone. Normally, these people have a problem of need with complicated relationships (maladaptive). That women can carry out work, their friendships and even reach their family.
This situation causes the person suffering from the dependency to enter a dangerous spiral from which, sometimes, it is an exercise to leave ".
Codependents are affective addicts, who depend on others to live, seek gratification from others like drug addicts. They are individuals who feel a great fear of abandonment, they need to cling to others even when the persons causes them pain. On the other hand, the codependent's partner stimulates and encourages addictive behaviors because he needs them to affirm himself. This type of behavior is carried out by people even without realizing it, since they have been behaviors acquired throughout their lives. But the moment comes when one of the two begins to break this pattern, initiates the estrangement and produces the crisis, which leads them to ask, help and discover the addictive patterns.
Slave
adj. Said of a person: That lacks freedom to be under the dominion of another. U. t. c. s.
adj. Subjected rigorously or strongly to a duty, passion, affection, vice, etc., which deprives of freedom. Man slave of his word, of ambition, of friendship, of envy.
What was wrong with me? I was involved in the last two
If any of you feel this way and feel that you have no escape or solution, I have good news! I got the freedom and you can do it too.
Fuente
Christ freed us to live in freedom. Therefore, stand firm and do not submit to the yoke of slavery. Galatians 5: 1
At the end of the relationship I felt that my life would end, I immersed myself in an endless solitude, but in the middle of that loneliness I decided to go to that God that people spoke to me, and that I thought I had known, but no, it was there that I truly had an encounter with him, that's where I met his son (Jesus Christ) and I knew that he came to die for love of me, but above all to bring freedom to my life.
And this is what I did: Psalm 120: 1
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Fuente
If you are going through a difficulty and you think there is no escape, God says in his word: shout to me, and you answer, and show great and hidden things that you do not know. Jeremiah 33: 3
If you think it is very difficult: nothing is impossible for God. Lucas 1:37
The one who gave me freedom is glory and honor!
God bless you !!