How Steemit is healing my internet-inflicted wounds and paving the way for peace and freedom

rkbgold (37) · 7 years ago

Carey, your post really moved me and touched my heart. I'm so glad that you found your way over here to Steemit so that your voice can be heard louder than ever and without being abused by trolls and haters. Congratulations on finding a safe haven for your ideas!

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sinushacker (55) · 7 years ago

I subscribed to you on Steemit recently. I can't think of a single mean thing to say about you. Those people are nuts! Keep fighting.

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3 votes

freeinthought (64) · 7 years ago

Despite being one of the most profound inventions in human history, the internet can really suck big time in so many ways. I wish you nothing but peace and happiness. :)

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aggroed (78) · 7 years ago

I hope you come to call this place home Carey. It's pretty remarkable.

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3 votes

pastbastard (53) · 7 years ago

I still find it bizarre that monetization of content has such a positive outcome. From the start, it is only a fraction of a penny. It might be the crowd that came here and started developing the community, but I think it is the system itself. We will find out as it grows!
Either way we will not be robbed by the likes of Zuck. Steem on!

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rabamaker (45) · 7 years ago

What you expressed here I also expressed in a steemians comment section. Out there in the real world racist, tribalists and other negative people are always afraid to express their warped views because of the consequences they have to face. But on the internet people just get away with everything. That's not real life. In real life you are rewarded for being a model individual and punished for being a deviant-directly or indirectly at least. The internet is raising monsters and suppressing people who should shine. It is teaching them that they need negative qualities to be successful in the world. This is wrong. Whenever I have said this, people have interpreted it to mean that that I hate freedom of speech. But this is very far from the truth.
I am happy that steemit is teaching us all a better way to live. We are not just looking out for each other because we are good people but because It is rewarding to do so. Good behaviour should be rewarded not punished. You are welcome to steemit, Carey.

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rhinehart (37) · 7 years ago

Here's a comment for you Carey: You're amazing. What you have to say is intriguing and thought-provoking. You are a rising voice to be heard in the Truth movement. Positive thoughts to you ... Thanks for sharing this article and illustrating what bottom feeders are out there.

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networker5 (56) · 7 years ago (edited)

if I think the same she is great in every way and is very welcome to steemit

I do not understand how someone can mess with a girl like this, she is perfect is beautiful, pleasant and intelligent and has a very out of the ordinary thought, but above all that insult of unequal ears ??? what the hell hahaha but if this girl is a natural beauty!

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4 votes

kingtylervvs (47) · 7 years ago

LOSERS WHO HATE THEMSELVES BUT COWARDS SO CANNOT KILL THEMSELVES SO THEY TAKE FRUSTRATION OUT ON THIS GIRL

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fabianmaria (53) · 7 years ago

I have come to realize that patient and consistency are the key to success. There is a platform for everyone. I will follow you here to here what you have to say. Steemit rules though still in beta stage.

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joshpeterson (58) · 7 years ago

I agree. Steemit is helping me to heal as well. When you first start out in the media, you don't realize how painful the words of strangers can be until someone decides to anonymously email you to tear you down over something you wrote. You develop a thicker skin, but the wounds still stack up.

We're glad you're here, Carey.

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jerrybanfield (74) · 7 years ago

Carey welcome to Steem! While the comments tend to be more kind here than on YouTube, when we stay long enough we are likely to get some of the same also! That said, Steem has a strong sense of community that seems to be founded more on love than anywhere else I have seen online!

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matildapurse (40) · 7 years ago

Part of success is being able to efficiently ignore noise.

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https://steemit.com/success/@jaguarpawmu/the-three-reflections-of-the-road-to-success

jaguarpawmu (44) · 7 years ago

You've inspired me to write a short piece. I hope this helps;

Haters are a real thing. But so are Lovers.

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http://steemit.com/life/@r0achtheunsavory/the-r0ach-report-32-on-the-jewish-question

r0achtheunsavory (60) · 7 years ago

It says you identify as Jewish. Why? It's an evil cult.

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networker5 (56) · 7 years ago

yesss evil cult.

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funbobby51 (59) · 7 years ago

I have had similar experiences on other forums and I think the reason things here is different is twofold, at first I thought it was just the monetary incentive that only rewards niceness but that is not the only factor, the other factor is anonymity. Other places people can hide their comment history, here nothing is hidden. People act a lot different in such circumstances.

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mysearchisover (70) · 7 years ago

Sorry about the haters.

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networker5 (56) · 7 years ago

@originalworks

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julienbh (59) · 7 years ago

Her earlobes are uneven!

There! I said it :P
Also, welcome to the best community evar!!! :)

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jesse2you (54) · 7 years ago

I have noticed that most people who challenge the status quo end up being crucified...martyred..
Seams we like to elevate people to watch them fall,tear them down. Kinda sad.

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demonsthenes (50) · 7 years ago

@careywedler I was thinking just the other day about how Steemit was the only corner of the internet where it DIDN'T seem like there were 10 different groups all screaming at each other and calling one another names. Enforced niceness or not, it's nice to see actual constructive criticism without resorting to calling anyone a racist.

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sabrin514 (45) · 7 years ago

Welcome to Steemit. There are a lot of good and bad people everywhere on every platform. As a fellow conservative female, I've also experienced quite a bit of hatred and person attacks from the left when I espouse a viewpoint that they don't like or agree with. Also, if the worse thing that anyone can think of to accuse you of is uneven earlobes, I think you're in pretty good shape :)

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rungirl (53) · 7 years ago

I'm new to the Steemit community also and as I read some of the blogs I'm finding too that the discourse is much less aggressive than other forums. In today's world there is so much to debate but it can be done in a thoughtful and respectful manner. I look forward to reading and listening to your blogs here.

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robertandrew (67) · 7 years ago

Welcome @careywedler, I'm glad you found Steemit. And it's good that you are getting such amazing responses. You seem like you definitely deserve it :) I think Steemit really takes care of the unnecessary Trolls but also encourages people to be Truthful. But Truthful in a decent way and not any type of vulgar way ( which it totally unnecessary) Again welcome, and I also want thank @aggroed for resteeming this as you ending up being in my Feed because of that :)

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mylittleblurbs (46) · 7 years ago

I think that all the negativity should make you feel more empowered. it feeds your creativity. I feel that some just fear what is different, and those that are not able to change their minds are unable to change the world.

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drskhan90 (46) · 7 years ago

I didn't read whole post. But what I read made me clear that you are beautiful and those jerks laughing at you mean nothing to this world. They will realize it one day. Ignore them. That's the best way to be healthy and move towards your goal and do whatever you love to do.

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thedeceiver (37) · 7 years ago

Since you posted this I decided to go look at the comments on your channel and was quickly reminded why I never read comments on youtube lol

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natubat (64) · 7 years ago

I totally agree with what you about Steemit - it's a refreshing place to be. Still, I can't help laughing at some of those moronic comments, especially when I re-adjust the personal pronouns in my mind so that the comments are actually directed back at the people who made them. Because I think that subconsciously these sad trolls really are referring to themselves in their jibes. Their utterances certainly don't come from a place of self love!

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digitalfirehose (58) · 7 years ago

I'm glad you're enjoying Steemit. I've had a similar experience with Steemit insofar as civility goes. I much prefer the lower tension levels here than at other social media forums.

I have reviewed the comments you pasted here and I've seen the same profane, often vulgar comments from others in the circles that I follow. But I have learned to not just consider the source, I've learned to assign a different value to those comments altogether. I see it as a sort of programming exercise.

In the same way that we train ourselves to be motivated by money, we can train ourselves to be motivated or demotivated by input from others. So when someone explodes on my posts with profanities and insults in the comments section on my posts, I don't take it personally. I don't shoot back with the same. I demur, I parry, I try to find common ground if at all possible. I remind myself that civil discourse is not about scoring points, it's about making a point and seeing if there is some correspondence.

Since that time (the experiment is over), I've noticed that I have next to zero inclination to participate in discourse with people who think that they can win a debate with insults. That's an unreasonable and untenable position, so why bother?

Instead, I go where the love is. I can find enjoyable discourse here, on Steemit, with far greater ease. I also like that the money makes people polite. That means everyone is a customer. And he customer is always right.

Anyway, that's probably more than you wanted to know, but this topic has been on my mind so much lately, that I saw your post as a good opportunity to write a nice rough draft of my thoughts.

Have a great time here. Keep the posts coming and don't take anything personally. :)

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jacks0n (34) · 7 years ago

Good to see you join the community, Carey! There's likely something to be said about the different human energies that pervade the mainstream social media platforms. Perhaps it's the mainstream wherein the darkness resides. In any case the responsibility resides with us as individuals to overcome and simply move forward, back into the natural and voluntaristic state in which all things must reside.

“In order to change an existing paradigm you do not struggle to try and change the problematic model. You create a new model and make the old one obsolete.” -R. Buckminster Fuller

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evolved08gsr (57) · 7 years ago

As the proverb goes, "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar." There's definitely something to be said about being cordial with others. Being perpetually nice to someone regardless of how they're treating you speaks about how you feel about yourself more than how you feel about someone putting you down. If you're confident in yourself, you're less likely to be affected by the rants of others against you. If you're less confident, it's likely that you'll feel the need to lash back.

Anyway, being nice to others (as well as yourself) should be everyone's first priority. I'm not saying that we need to all hold hands and sing Kumbaya together, but at least be civil and live by the old Kindergarten rule: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

There are ways to disagree with others without telling them that they are idiots and wrong. If you can figure out how to do that, you will be able to educate and influence others who may otherwise be less informed. Although, some people just can't be taught or spoken to because they're not willing to accept any thoughts other than their own. In those cases, you just need to "Inception" their minds :)

Stay positive, be happy, be you!

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onnovocks (49) · 7 years ago (edited)

Well I followed you because I like much of what I've seen so far and want to see what else you got for us in future posts. It's perfectly ok to disagree with someone, but a disagreement needs to be well founded, rather than a simple insult, to be constructive or have any value for anyone reading the exchange. I hope Steemit continues to be a friendly place where respectful exchanges can take place for all. Greetings!

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sungazer (39) · 7 years ago

It's amazing the things people will say online which they would not dare to say in person. I have experienced it myself and it's not fun. I can so relate to you having to meditate before you check your comments....maybe also stand back from the monitor and look with binoculars? haha

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captainbob (70) · 7 years ago

Totally agree Carey. I've been very impressed with the Steemit community. In fact, I find that I for now, for the first time, feel ok about calling it a community. It's not that we just want people who only agree with everything we say, but that we can have a real discussion about it and everyone can still walk away friendly even if we disagree. A true platform for civil discussion with an opportunity to learn. Quite refreshing to me.

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orbitalqq (34) · 7 years ago

I remember enjoying your youtube videos a few years back. Glad to see you on Steemit!

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archive.xyz (42) · 7 years ago

Wow, nearly got a headache reading those comments: a couple of thoughts:

People who insult online (this may a be cliche but - ) are rare to confront, and have very little real power, despite how big they true to project themselves. People are always willing to throw rocks from a distance, but shrivel away in person.
"stuck screaming at each other "

Many people are powerless. They can't have friends ( I wonder why no one would want to be friends with an explosive person?), so they browse social media and get into arguments.

They can't talk to other gender, so they stay inside and launch attacks when they fill powerless.

I always have to maintain genuine pity for people who capable of such comments, as it is tragic that there heart is in the wrong place. I used to have a lot of anger, and would make extreme and violent jokes, but that's because I was powerless and afraid, not because I had any real strength.

Keep your head up, and even if I or anyone else happens disagree with everything you say, I'm positive we can express it in a way that is genuine and civilized.

Take care, and thanks for opening about this.

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kaylog (45) · 7 years ago

hmm.nice posf

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cryptonik (55) · 7 years ago

Glad to hear you are enjoying Steemit. Welcome to the new Social Media Paradigm. We are one big family here <3

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whatrokusays (32) · 7 years ago

Hi @careywedler,
I'm grateful for this post.

I recently shut down all my social media accounts because of one person. She was bent on cyber stalking me on all the platforms I was on and leaving mean comments.. It was hurtful and hard to go through.

And, i'm sorry about the comments that people left you too.

I'm grateful for this post because it is like a "release" that will help me move on as well.

Welcome to Steemit. I'm new here too and I will be sure to follow along in your writing journey.

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networker5 (56) · 7 years ago

@careywedler
I'm sorry to interrupt here but you're nominated for the challenge of giving your best smile
https://steemit.com/bestsmilechallenge/@networker5/reto-dame-tu-mejor-sonrisa-dia-2

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anna-mi (60) · 7 years ago

Indeed, Steemit a special atmosphere of kindness, respect and assistance. Unlike other social platforms where many seek to assert themselves by insulting other people. A world at peace. At least I do not see such aggression and the desire for the humiliation of others.

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peacefulforest (36) · 7 years ago

I with you, peace and freedom. What you have shared here is both vulnerable and uplifting. Thanks for what you do!

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faisalwrci (48) · 7 years ago

nice I am very happy about your suggestion

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maturidy (36) · 7 years ago

thank for your post sister @careywedler

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kayla353570 (38) · 7 years ago

truly extraordinary
Your ideas and thoughts

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bebeomega (65) · 7 years ago

upvoted and followed

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naw (46) · 7 years ago

Please give me vote.

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sc0ut (40) · 7 years ago

At least on YouTube, I'd consider disabling comments on your posts if it's causing you anxiety to read all the trolling. It's great to get feedback on your posts, but it doesn't necessarily have to be on YT. Maybe you could link to a steemit blog entry from your YT video for discussions? Why voluntarily subject yourself to body shaming/misogyny/abuse?

Unfortunately, steemit is not immune to trolls, racists, bigots, misogynists, etc. and some of the biggest offenders are the most powerful accounts, which creates a bad dynamic.

However, I think there is a lot more community support somewhere like steemit than on YT, so I think you will find that many more people have your back when the trolls show up.

Another very helpful tool on steemit is that you can mute users. I wholeheartedly recommend muting anyone who is abusive toward you. They're just trying to get a reaction from you and it's no fun to troll someone who can't hear you.

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phelimint (68) · 7 years ago

It's amazing the trolls on YouTube. It's amazing what people are willing to say and put out there.
PS your earlobes look fine to me so don't worry!

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johngabriel (47) · 7 years ago

shake dem haters....

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soul-lifter (40) · 7 years ago

Although I don't have much of a political opinion and can't fully relate to your passion. I can completely agree with you on how healing Steemit has been as someone creating posts to educate others and even as someone just wanting to look at peoples posts and learn a thing or too! So many times I've got to YouTube for various reasons and was so turned off by how horrible people were in the comments section!

Steemit is so different though and I just love the supportive community it seems to vibe! I hope you continue your posts here! NOBODY deserves to be hated on so much. Fortunately, for all of us, the Steemit community seems to actually listen and not harshly judge like other platforms do and I love and find comfort in that!

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iswandi (38) · 7 years ago

greetings friendship please help vote my photos, please guidance her, i am new in steemit world
follow me
thanks

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syipop (45) · 7 years ago

Just be pation, upvoted

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iqbalhossin (42) · 7 years ago

I thing today steemit is best for the freedom community.....
thanks for the sharing activity
carry on dear

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johnelia (40) · 7 years ago

Amazing

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networker5 (56) · 7 years ago

I can tell you from my own experience that the best thing to do is to completely ignore the trolls, since they feed precisely on being the center of attention and if you play them then you are feeding them what is just what they want and need, when ignores them then they can not do anything and are left alone with their negativities, what is clear that bad people are everywhere also here, for example yesterday and had a bad experience and it was the first bad experience here in steemit, normally everything is calm but yesterday I do not know what happened but they left me a lot of red flags or negative votes without any cause or justification for the fact of laughing at a funny gif that someone left in a comment, this happened in a post of a user who earns the most here and after seeing all those negative votes towards me I saw that it was not personal Comingo anything but there is a kind of gerra whale and everyone who eats you in that post are going to flood with flags as I noticed that everyone put flags like me, the bad thing is that I got into the mess without wanting it and for no reason that's not good for the image of this site and I left a bit thinking that those of us who are not whales are completely defenseless before those struggles of whales that although I have nothing to do with me splashed me with its side effects lol
https://steemworld.org/@networker5

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jonathanr1994 (39) · 7 years ago (edited)

Hi Carey,

Love it that you are on Steemit to continue preserving our freedoms away from Facebook and Twitter who shot themselves in the foot a long time ago.

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plushzilla (55) · 7 years ago

I am glad that the true freedom that you have discovered comes from within yourself and not in having to run from the negativity of the broader population on the internet or dependent on the community on steemit. Because to be honest there is no 'utopia' and at the end of the day we only have control over what we think and believe in. The effect that words and actions other people have over you is what you allow them to have and no more.

Having said that, I do hope you find more of what you are looking for here on steemit :)

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mattclarke (68) · 7 years ago

Hope your mum reads these comments :)

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gallantmayor (53) · 7 years ago

This is motivational, people who want to give up on what they do should read your story here

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marloujen (32) · 7 years ago

I believe this world can contain everybody's opinion. Take a heart girl.

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adammillwardart (60) · 7 years ago

Wow, I get afew negative comments here and there but nothing like what you'd been getting.I wrote an article about 10 days ago or so about 5 reasons Steemit is better than FB, and the no trolls was on the list! It just doesn't pay to be a jerk on here, literally lol

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shrinivasdontul (35) · 7 years ago

Welcome to steemit. Forget about the past. Post quality content here and enjoy the real life here.

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dontstopmenow (68) · 7 years ago

Dont let them get you. You are beautifull !

Keep your chin up and don´t listen to the haters.

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jaguarpawmu (44) · 7 years ago (edited)

Welcome to Steemit, and may it be a totally different experience here. Check out my page for daily freestyle raps. Didn't do todays yet, but heres yesterdays;

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cool-mike (33) · 7 years ago

I can't LOVE this post enough!!

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klasanaj (51) · 7 years ago

You've impressed your page with Facebook
you write Arabic

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rruubbiie (46) · 7 years ago

I feel the same way @careywedler .. so I resteemed your post. :)

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onemedia (60) · 7 years ago

...Carey, you had me at "...offend adherents to both left-wing and right-wing dogma..." ... you could have elephant's (or donkey's ;-) ) ear lobes and I'd still love the intellectual engagement a person with that attitude can offer ...

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r351574nc3 (72) · 7 years ago

My Ultimate is Charging ...

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kyawthihaa (43) · 7 years ago

Nice

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fonsetucker (47) · 7 years ago

It's great to be able to interact online the same way we will behave in the real world. Like humans who have manners and respect opinions. I never understood why trolls are willing to say such horrible things online, but never will be able to hold the same comment to your face. Steemit is for respectful, intelligent people, and those who decide to disrespect the ecosystem realize they have to learn and adjust. I appreciate your candid blog, and I hope this platform shows you the much needed kindness.

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