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07/02/2025
She was someone bound by too many restrictions. There were too many things she couldn’t do and fears she couldn’t overcome. Eventually, she was caught in a vicious loop of negativity, making it almost impossible for her to escape her own barriers. I had lately learned to enjoy a healthy flow of energy, and I wanted to share it with her. Maybe I had come like a heavenly response, offering my assistance after all of her intense prayers for comfort. Yet, she remained stuck in familiar patterns, unwilling to abandon the habits that confined her.
She had money and a comfortable home—everything except good health. She was deeply loving, yet her sharp words still left wounds on those around her. Her hypersensitivity and stubbornness had brought her insomnia and a burning stomach, the inevitable cost of her own rigidity. Golden days were ahead after we had finally regained serenity after years of suffering. Ultimately, she was confined to the limited patterns of her life and unable to utilize this valuable time.
I often imagined what it would be like if she were my student. Where would I even begin? How could I assist her in getting over the barriers she had erected around herself? If her failing health had already proven that her way wasn’t working, how could I convince her that only a complete change—diet, exercise, and lifestyle—would bring her back to life? I became increasingly frustrated as I saw her nod asleep in strange places. While I moved forward each day, creating my own happiness, she remained motionless in the shadows. Even when I tried to lift her up, she melted back into them.
She had opposed every decision I made to become independent since I was twenty. However, I was strong enough to forge my own path now. She had only begun to realize that my world was different. Still, the darkness had made her even weaker. She says, "If only we could stay here together," with a hint of nostalgia.
I keep reminding her that the easiest and best way to address her sleeplessness, digestive issues, muscle loss, and declining strength is to move—to exercise. I yelled until my voice grew hoarse today. However, after ten years of pounding away, what can you do with a stone that won’t break? After ten years of heat, what do you do with ice that won’t melt? I have entered the essence of what matters most in life through my own training. Still, how can I involve her in this journey? Why has God entrusted her to my care?
As time goes by, I yearn to take her out—even if just for a moment—and walk with her along this bright path I've discovered. I continue to point out the way for her, without putting any pressure on her. I allow her to see the joy that fills my days and the mental and physical peace of movement. Then I say, "It's wonderful. Join me in celebrating this joy." "Yes," she replies, "I want that too."
Even the most brilliant doctors have given up on her. Since childhood, she has always been my greatest challenge. Back then, I couldn’t overcome her. And now, I cannot lead her. I know that only she can change herself. But if my sincerity can reach her—if even a small part of my efforts find their way to her heart—perhaps, just perhaps, she will step forward.