Dear Diary: I Had My Coffee Fix Today And I Hope It Changes My Mood

This morning before I had gone to dialysis I didn't get to drink coffee because I really can't even put anything in my mouth in these past few weeks because of the nasty side-effects of my medicine. So I tried to take a bath and before my schedule me and my father are off to the dialysis center. My schedule was supposed to begin at eleven in the morning but I got hooked at twelve in the afternoon. Before five in the afternoon we are already home.

My dialysis was cut short because my blood pressure went low again but this time I wasn't feeling it much and definitely not complaining but my nurse stopped it anyway even though I still have twelve more minutes to go. I was actually enraged about it because they shouldn't stopped it because I can still handle it. My dialysis time is very valuable to me because it takes away the thing that bothers me most which is my bitter aftertaste.

So I wasn't in the good mood whilst they are trying to return my blood and then we went home and I am still not in the good mood. I was contemplating about the things I want that I cannot get and the things beyond y control that greatly affects my life and it causes me metal stress and frustrations. I feel like I am a dog on a thick chain leash and it makes me ever sadder.

I went straight into my bed like I always do and tried to sleep but I can't. I asked my mother about some food but I do not like the bread type that my father always buy so I didn't choose that as I dislike its crumbs that goes into everything and it's sweet taste too. My mother offered me her meat stew and I already knew about the taste of it but I had it anyway as I have nothing more to choose from but I couldn't eat more as I do not really want the taste.

I noticed that I had a slight headache so I drank down my lukewarm coffee hoping that I only have a coffee withdrawal syndrome because I haven't had some caffeine this whole day because coffee had been in my system ever since I was weaned from milk. I remember that moment when one morning when I was asking for my milk after waking up my mother went up to me and showed me the feeding bottle telling me that it is broken and has a hole in it.

Coffee helped me in my studies before where I spent the nights working with my typewriter plus the nights that i have to read because the freaking teacher gives us a test and takes the questions randomly from the book. So in a way I am glad that it made part of my life happy because it does changed my mood in many instances when I needed it.

Now I am okay I guess and will just try to spend the night steeming until I am sleepy for tomorrow I will have to go to the laboratory center to have an Intact PTH test for my parathyroid. My mother at the same time will also get her own lab results. It is quite a day today although not much had been done for my gladness but thankful anyhow.