Dear Diary: I Have No More Passion for Fashion Styles

It has been so many years since I have chosen the best clothes to wear so I can look better to people which is really our point in wearing nice clothes, to please other people's attention. So until my body had morphed from a thin-bodied teeenager into a quasimodo-like creature, my fashion sense just left me and I had forgotten about it altogether.

I used to be vain myself, that is why I always pick my face for such imperfections like bumps and blemishes that I always scrub so I can look "better." I even planned to make my skin fairer and lighter because in our culture here, a fairer skin just lifts you up from others and makes you stand up from the crowd which is again, a point of fashion.

My last fashion style that I wore if I could remember was this formal wear which includes my shoes that I bought from a department store. I think only had used it from less than six times and then it is just accumulating dust in the closet now and would never be used again simply because no matter what I do, I will never look good with any fashion styles unless it is a halloween season.

Come halloween season I will just be saving myself from expenses since I have a natural lifetime fashion costume for it already. I could choose from being a Lion-O or a Quasimodo or perhaps a Bergen. But if not for my eating difficulty I would like a set of fangs and a semi-permanent whiskers to go along with it for my Lion-face appearance, perhaps children would adore me if that would be done.

It's just I am missing my old appearance. all my fashion plans had been kept now under the rug and I all forgotten about but I am not depressed about it as my health is my major concern and how can I get up back to my two feet without struggling to breathe and walk. Maybe and it is just a punch in the moon that I can look back in the mirror and tell my self "You sexy beast" without really looking like a beast myself.