When Plagiarizing is Your Hobby

It takes all kinds. Driving home this evening the clouds were eccentric—a strange pile up of fluffy grey and little patches of ice blue. I watched some eccentric characters on the drive home too. A lady with her windows rolled down, her hair as wild as her voice as she screamed at her boyfriend in the passenger seat, barely able to make the turn outside of their apartment complex.

And then the man with the pickup truck mysteriously weighted down in the back, and the big sticker on the window that said “Redneck”. We stopped at a red light together as I looked through a window at his life. He wasn’t paying me any attention, just looking forward from the brim of his baseball cap. I thought to myself, I need mood music. I hit the classic rock station on the radio. No, country…no, classic rock. By the time I’d finished shuffling back and forth the light had turned green, the man sped off, and the mood music was moot.

I woke up this morning introduced to the most interesting character of the day. I looked at my notifications like I do every morning, a bit bleary eyed. The lovely Cheetah was there, which was a curious sighting. I followed her trail to one of my own articles from a few months back. I then followed it back to its new owner and stared at his blog in confusion. There was my blog, but the posts were random selections from the past several weeks, with a username that certainly did not belong to me. What-do-you-know, first thing in the morning I’d already found a character. It has just been that sort of a day.

Old Hawk Eyes, seeing all.

I think I’ll just direct the rest of this to you, Character, in case you happen to be reading. I’ve got some bad news—you stole work from a not very popular blogger. I love what I do, but my content is not the sort that draws in the masses. In fact, you didn’t even steal the ones that got curies. Given this knowledge, I’m led to the only logical conclusion: You are my biggest fan. I know, you only just started following me last night, which makes it all the more a big deal. This was love at first sight for you, wasn’t it? You like me so much, you want to be me. I’m not freaked out by this. I get it—I like me too. Clearly, we have a lot in common.

What really makes this a dramatic display of affection, is that you didn’t just use one of my posts. No doubt helping yourself to not one, but seven, of my posts was intended to be the greatest compliment a thief fan could pay me. I’m glad you enjoyed those seven write-ups so very much, but there’s a few things that bothered me (other than the fact that you stole them). Your copy/paste style is sloppy. Just think of all those beautiful “pull lefts” and “pull rights” that you neglected, and you somehow managed to get the text entirely bolded in one of them, which hurt my eyes. This was blog desecration.

That one person that ruins a six month run of a positive experience. Oh well.

I just wanted to add here that I strongly prefer that you not steal anything else of mine, because honestly, my ego can’t handle anymore. It can barely fit in the room I’m typing this in, and it has vaulted ceilings. I know you are my biggest fan, but you’ve got to find another outlet for all this enthusiasm. Maybe you should find a hobby. Plagiarizing is your hobby, isn’t it? Well, maybe steemcleaners could provide you a list of your fellow plagiarizers and spammers. You might just find your soul mate.

Best of luck to you—you may need it. In my time I’ve learned that retribution always seems to be waiting right around the corner.

I'm kind of tired of characters now. Maybe I won't meet any tomorrow.

Edited: @trumplover is the plagiarizer that could use a flag.