a fork in the hand...?

Granted, I am ordering off a foreign menu when I attempt to engage with the cryptocurrency economy, but it's rougher fare than I expected. While a bitcoin wallet has successfully been created, getting anything into it is another story.

Challenge one is operating in Canadian currency.
Challenge two is picking through all manner of online crypto brokers and feeling out the respectable ones.
Challenge three is trying to do ANY of this on the day when trading volume clearly exceeds every platform's design.

But why today?
Because I think tomorrow could be even busier.

Again the disclaimer - I know nothing. I am completely new to this and have about 7 days worth of observations to work with but this is what I see:

A fork in the hand is worth two in the... well, you get it. People are sliding out of bitcoin and into bitcoin cash. This looks to me like they really wanted the fork that wasn't, so they're going with the fork that is. Why? Because whatever the imperfections, bitcoin cash addresses some as-yet-unresolved constraints of bitcoin. So what will happen tomorrow when bitcoin cash has scheduled their own network upgrade (https://www.bitcoincash.org/)?

For one thing, press. At this juncture, there is HUGE untapped market that could participate in cryptocurrency. That suggests to me that EVERY time there is press coverage of the crypto world, it drives more dollars in - period. Once people get a peek at those value charts and see double digit gains all fall, the investment interest naturally expands (https://coinmarketcap.com/all/views/all/).

For another, the network upgrade itself would naturally nudge values (based on what I could tell from charts of analogous events).

Third, the sensitivity of values could be dialed up a notch (or ten) based on the action this weekend.

Not that any of this matters materially to me, since I can't seem to acquire these mind-bogglingly volatile crypto options. Thank goodness for steemit where I write (which I do anyway) and share pictures of my art (which I do anyway) and earn steem (which beats what I was earning anyway).

Given the stomach-churning changes in values today, it may be for the best that I showed up at the meal with an empty wallet. Bon apetit!